Scooter column: Les will alter his ways after seeing the light

Published 9:53 am Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Just a hunch, but I’m guessing a fair share of the 100,000-plus in the congregation who turned LSU’s Tiger Stadium into the Les Miles Testimonial and Sayonara Lovefest Saturday night woke up with a pounding headache and perhaps some startling and unexpected news.

The groggy reaction most likely would have gone, oh, something like this hangover:

Honey, can you bring some coffee and the newspaper?

Thanks.

Let’s see, uh …

Huh? Wait. Who? Say what? We fans saved whose job? No, no, how’d this happen? I saw ’em carry him off the field on their shoulders.

You misunderstood, that wasn’t the plan …

They did … what? Kept who?

When’d, uh, how’d that happen? I thought he was done for, signed, sealed and, OK, abused and mistreated, granted, but, you know, still excommunicated.

You’ve got to be kidding me!

No, no, you misunderstood the whole thing.

Yeah, I like him, swell guy and all but … good family man … but we were just trying, you know, to be nice. He deserved that much. I mean, he’s a jolly good fellow, did lot’s of good stuff and all that jazz but … I mean, I can’t watch that offense any more and …

No, wake me up, this must be a bad dream. What have we done?

Yeah, he deserved a proper send-off, but that’s all it was meant to be. Man, I was all over that. I was, yeah, even chanting his name along with everybody else, but we had assurances that … you know, done deal, gone pecan.

Just give him a gold watch and be done with it. Don’t care, throw in a going-away Cadillac if you have to. Anything but … you telling me he’s still here?

Mad Martyr backlash, my ah… when’d they ever listen to us before.

Aggghhhhhh… What time does the Saints game come on?

In some circles, no doubt, there was unexpected fallout to that strange night with the who-done-it ending in Tiger Stadium.

Nobody saw that finish coming. If so, they might have left the hand-painted love letters at home.

You know what they say: be careful what you chant for.

Les Miles isn’t baaaack. Turns out he never left.

Athletic Director Joe Alleva would have you believe it was all just a big, crazy misunderstanding.

Don’t buy it.

But to those suddenly suffering from chanter’s remorse, I’d say take two more aspirin. There’s a good chance it turned out the way it should have, which would be all the best for LSU — no matter how awkward and embarrassing of a route the administration took to the unexpected plot twist at the end.

It could work out.

Look at it this way: let’s say there’s three keys to college head coaching ­— 1, recruiting; 2, running the program; 3, technical football.

No one questions Miles on the first — he has few equals. Partly the reason for the high expectations — and on the second, it’s obvious his players would run through a wall for him and generally do.

As for the third, OK, admittedly, there is that Jurassic offense to deal with, although there hasn’t really been a time-management flare-up in ages.

Those who were demanding a coaching change assumed the new guy would automatically be just as adept at the first two and, of course, also bring a playbook printed this century.

That’s a big assumption.

And if you can have only two of the three elements, which of those three do you think would be the easiest to change and correct?

Bingo. It’s first two that are tricky. New-wave offenses are a dime a dozen.

Oh, but you think Miles is too stubborn for that?

If there was a Miles answer in the afterglow Saturday night that sent horrifying shock waves through fan base, it was probably when he was asked if that offense needed a serious overhaul.

“Not a serious overhaul,” he said, “because the motor (Leonard Fournette) appears to be pretty freaking strong.

“Do we want to consider change? You bet. But a serious overhaul is a little much.”

Not to worry. That was just Les trying to think of something to say.

Miles will change the offense. He went through a near-death experience the last two weeks. If Saturday’s faux going away party proved anything, it’s that the Mad Hatter really, really, really LOVES being the head coach at LSU. More so than we ever expected or imagined.

Awkward as it seemed, unfair as it was, you can bet he got the message. He knows how close the coup was to succeeding. Getting the reprieve, he’s not going to risk it now.

There will likely be some staff changes, but it’s not mandatory to have a fall guy.

No, he didn’t agree to get rid of anybody. Wasn’t time for those kind of demands, and just as well.

You can make suggestions, but he’s either your head coach or he’s not — and those decisions are the head coach’s.

Maybe you don’t have to get rid of coordinator Cam Cameron to modernize the offense. Half the fans think it was Miles holding Cameron back anyway.

But, yes, one way or another, there will be change, heavy tweaking of that offense.

If so, the two weeks that were and should have been such an embarrassment to LSU, will not have been totally in vain.

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com

LSU football coach Les Miles. (Associated Press)