Scooter column: No preference who wins, as long as my number comes in

Published 3:31 pm Sunday, February 7, 2016

We will figure out who to fake a rooting interest for in today’s NFL extravaganza in due time, but first a word about football boards and squares.

 Could somebody tell me what the key is?

 I’m talking about those 100-square boards that require no more apparent skill or knowledge than scribbling one’s initials into one of the squares and later finding out what your numbers are.

 Me? Yeah, I play along. Every year. I even study the blank board, trying to predict where the coveted “4” and “7” will eventually turn up. But maybe I’m overthinking it. Best I can remember, I have never won one thin dime on one of the fool things — not for first quarter, not halftime or third quarter and certainly not the final score, where the big bucks sometimes live.

 That losing streak alone seems to be defying some hefty odds.

 So I have given up rooting solely for the Big Board, although it wouldn’t bother me to see my number come in.

 So, assuming no ties to either team, what are the rooting factors here (keeping in mind that often it’s far more fun to root AGAINST a team than for one)?

 I’m afraid there’s not much to choose from, least that I can come up with.

<strong>Cities?</strong>

 Charlotte always seemed like a decent enough place. It’s known as the Queen City, apparently owing its sir name to Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, although my research turns up evidence that Charlotte was actually the mere queen-consort of Great Britain when Charlotte was founded. As to what restrictions the “consort” modifier puts on proper royalty, you’d have to consult People magazine.

Same with Denver. It was named for James W. “Slim Jim” Denver, who I’m told was a politician of some stripe. But mostly, of course, Denver is the Mile High City — and reportedly getting higher all the time, in a medicinal sort of way, due to some recent and very relaxed state laws that have altered the course of Colorado agriculture. Take your pick. l Fans? Kind of goes along with cities. I’m sure both teams have some good fans and some certified civic embarrassments. Not much to choose from, although the Panthers do, for the most part, have Southern accents. l Saints factor? Which way do you tango here? The Panthers are in the Saints’ division. But this isn’t college where there are conference allegiances that allow you to live vicariously through a richer cousin. The Panthers also beat the Saints twice this year, and perhaps that shouldn’t be lightly forgotten. I can’t remember the Broncos ever doing much of anything untoward to the Saints, at least recently, although I’m sure there’s something. l State factor? For all the thousands of LSU players supposedly in the NFL these days, only Panthers starting guard Trai Turner will be in today’s Super Bowl.

 But Tulane — you know, DBU — has two rookie cornerbacks with the Broncos, although neither Taurean Nixon nor Lorenzo Doss has any stats to speak of.

<strong>Coaches?</strong>

 Not exactly household names.

 Carolina’s Ron Rivera is a soft-spoken sort who seems like a good enough guy.

 Ditto for the Broncos’ Gary Kubiak, a guy who paid his dues, bombed out with the Texans, and is making the most of another chance without making a lot of fussy headlines.

<strong>Quarterbacks?</strong>

 Ding-ding-ding-ding! And bingo.

 This is what it comes down to, isn’t it?

 In this case, the two-week break served a useful purpose, as it seems to have given America time to realize that it’s not necessarily racist to prefer the Peyton Manning persona and, as it turns out, Cam Newton is not only the best athlete on the planet and possibly Superman, he’s not such a bad guy either. He just wears his million-watt personality on his sleeve.

 When he smiles, it lights up three states, while Manning prefers the traditional awshucks version.

 Most endearing, Newton is unfailingly kind to the little kids (Manning knocks them down with tight spirals in “Saturday Night Live” skits, though that may have been showbiz).

 Anyway, there probably hasn’t been this blatant degree of contrasting Super Bowl quarterback images since Joe Namath wore a coat trimmed with coyote and fox fur in Super Bowl III while thumbing his nose at the twin towers of crew-cut stoicism, Earl Morrall and Johnny Unitas of the Colts.

 But it probably comes down to whether you’d like to see Manning get a proper sendoff in what is likely his final game, which would even his Super Bowl record at 2-2 and give him as many Lombardi trophies as little brother Eli.

 Works for me.

 Mainly, though, I just want to see my number come in.