It’s up to fans to get answers

Published 10:45 am Wednesday, May 13, 2015

OK, local LSU fans, it’s your turn. You’re on the clock.

Give it your best shot.

Good luck and godspeed.

But, be careful in there.

Les Miles will be in Lake Charles tonight, speaking to the LSU choir at the L’Auberge main events center, one of those “Tiger Tour” deals they trot out every so often.

Go for it. If you don’t already have a ticket, it will cost you $50 at the door, and you’ll be fed well.

But don’t get too bloated.

You’ll need your wits about you.

And we’re all counting on you.

The school does its best to “control the message,” so to speak, with a carefully scripted session for Miles to say as little as possible. But if past history holds form, at some point in the gala caution will be tossed to the wind and a bona fide audience (you) Q&A will be attempted.

This is your chance.

As you may be aware, there is a troublesome quarterback situation over at the Flagship, a conundrum wrapped inside a riddle that, best I can tell — at times — is consuming an entire Pelican State’s every waking moment.

There has been little in the way of real news on the mystery since last seen trying desperately to complete forward passes at the Music City Bowl in that blood-from-a-turnip style.

Certainly, the spring game was no help.

But maybe one of you can crack the code about what is really going on between Anthony Jennings, Brandon Harris and any remote possibility of an arm to be named and transferred in later.

Professional-type (paid) journalists have been on the case for months now, sadly to little avail.

The latest attempt came just Tuesday morning with the Southeastern Conference’s post-spring football teleconference.

It featured some of the finest and learned media minds from all corners of the South, again sparring with Miles — and, once again, there were casualties aplenty, most of the questioners coming away flustered, bruised, battered, somewhat dumbfounded and many gasping for breath.

All the usual tricks of the trade were unleashed — follow-up questions, trick questions, back-door attempts and trap-door, give-and-goes disguised as innocent softballs with hard-breaking curveball zingers at the end.

In the end, nothing but more media carnage. Oh, the humanity … except you don’t feel a thing.

Personally, I suffered only flesh wounds, but you should know what you’re getting into.

You should know your target.

He’s a good sort, really is, and he’s generally as friendly with the media as he is with fans. But he is going to answer questions on his own terms and in his own peculiar language, apparently borrowed from a galaxy far, far away.

Questioning Miles is an inexact science, not always for the fainthearted.

You don’t just randomly blurt out something logical as a question and expect logical results.

You’ll be mincemeat, spewing oil and staggering against the ropes.

It takes patience and planning, with no guarantees. You must first get in your happy place. I recommend a few deep breaths, abdomen control. You can’t just embrace “Les-speak” well in advance, you must be of one with it. And be prepared for the gentle “Les-isms” that come back at you, sounding all too innocent.

You must speak Les. You must be the Mad Hatter. You must listen and comprehend only in Les.

It’s a Zen-like state you seek, all the better to cope when answers will be forthcoming, in some language or another, that leave you nodding — yes-yes — but then wondering what in the world did that have to do with what you just asked.

But you must persevere, you must be dogged, in control, willing to get in there where no media professional has yet penetrated.

You are the last hope.

Yes, Tuesday was another failed attempt at clarity as to why, with no change in personnel, the quarterback situation is so much better than when last viewed publicly.

What we learned, short version, Tuesday was the quarterback race, if there is one, is too close to call. Or, in Les-speak, “There is a real closeness” where “one guy hasn’t separated himself from the other” so “we’re in the deciding process of who’s the best quarterback for our team.”

Miles wants to see that separation, which he didn’t in the spring with full coaching observation, but said he thinks it might happen during unsupervised “voluntary” summer workouts.

“If,” Miles said, “that does not happen — can’t make it happen — we’ll end up playing that guy who we feel like is the best for our team.”

And it could be both, he admitted.

That’s about all we have to go on in advance.

But get in there tonight and fight, fight, fight for those answers. We’re all counting on you.

l

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.com

Les Miles (AP Photo)

John Raoux