At least the Tigers weren’t as bad as the Saints

Published 8:03 am Monday, November 16, 2015

Let’s be honest here. It’s not really fair to compare what happened to LSU Saturday night to what happened to the Saints in our great nation’s capitol Sunday afternoon.

For instance, no state tax dollars were maimed or otherwise harmed  in the planning and production of Arkansas 31, LSU 14.

The Tiger football team, a product of Louisiana’s state-funded flagship university, is itself totally self-sufficient. It’s all self-generated money, with enough left over to pay for women’s beach volleyball.

The Saints, on the other hand, a card-carrying product of the capitalist NFL, get roughly $31 million a year in state subsidies, with enough left over for slick-bargaining Tom Benson to buy the NBA Pelicans (currently 1-9).

So, yes, that was — at least partially — your state tax dollars hard at work in Washington D.C. Sunday for the light, satirical farce affectionately known as Redskins 47, Saints 14.

Pain and suffering advantage: LSU.

But for the sanity of our area fans, I’m afraid McNeese picked the wrong weekend for an open date.

Without the undefeated Cowboys to watch, it was a weekend designed to make you swear off football forever.

In these kinder, gentler times we live in, perhaps the Saints’ game Sunday was all about making LSU feel better about itself.

If so, it was a rollicking success.

LSU merely hit rock bottom for the season against a decent enough Arkansas team.

The Saints were beyond dumpster fire bad, they were awful in the sense of a Biblical plague.

Advantage: LSU.

It was pretty obvious that the Saints were once again struggling with that always-pesky Tennessee Titan Hangover.

LSU denied any knowledge of the so-called Alabama Hangover.

Advantage: LSU.

The Tigers at least appeared to be trying, if not always with their heads on straight or their wits about them.

They seemed genuinely frustrated with a “want” to win, if not the means.

The well-paid Saints — yes, they  get NFL dollars for that — were going through the motions at best, criminally lollygagging at worst (not looking at you Drew Brees).

They seemed ready to go home.

Advantage: LSU.

Arkansas’ Brandon Allen is the SEC’s second best quarterback.

The Redskins were the NFL’s second-worst offense — and whatever happened to the adage that really bad defense beats really bad offense?

Yet the Redskins’ Kirk Cousins had a perfect quarterback rating against the Saints, which is almost impossible to do since nobody really knows how to compute the foul thing. But we’re talking about KIRK COUSINS here! The Saints just made him look like the second coming of Sam Bradford.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU’s Brandon Harris was sacked five times.

Drew Brees was sacked twice, but Harris never got his helmet knocked off.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU didn’t look any more inclined to try another quarterback than the Saints did. Actually, that was prudent on the Tigers‚ part, foolish and Les Miles-style stubborn for the Saints.

Drew Brees shouldn’t have been anywhere near the line of fire for that final quarter. There’s only one thing that could have made the hellish trip to Washington any worse and I don’t even want to bring it up in polite company.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU annually recruits among the best in the country, but its offensive line has suddenly disappeared and a supposedly talented secondary is prone to mischief and mental breakdowns. But chat rooms know it can all be fixed by changing some coaches.

Rob Ryan is probably a gone pecan as Saints defensive coordinator. But somebody else put together this collection of defensive misfits — and paid them good money — with the idea they could be competitive. Or at least tackle occasionally.

A defense THAT bad is about a lot more than just coaching or schemes.

Advantage: LSU.

Arkansas couldn’t wait to get out of Baton Rouge still in possession of The Boot.

The Redskins were having such a jolly good time that  they tried to delay the game in the final two minutes, which is a 5-yard penalty.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU looked frustrated, often confused.

The Saints looked helpless and disinterested.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU will honor all of its scholarships.

The Saints will still get paid for that performance.

Advantage: LSU.

LSU is 0-2 in starting the meat of their backloaded schedule.

The Saints are 0-2 in the start of the easy stretch of their schedule (if there is such a thing). They get Open Date next, where Who’s He will no doubt throw for 427 yards and get a perfect quarterback rating, whatever that is.

Advantage: Ole Miss, Texas A&M, the Texans, Panthers, Buccaneers, Lions, Jaguars and Falcons.