Sometimes children are better off not seen

Published 11:44 am Sunday, March 20, 2016

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">By now surely you’ve heard of the potential for an excellent reality TV show brewing in the baseball locker room of the Chicago White Sox.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But first they’d have to lure designated hitter Adam LaRoche back inside.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LaRoche, having already made $71 million in his career, has decided that he has built up enough of a nest egg to leave this year’s $12 million salary on the table and retire.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">On principle, as it were.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LaRoche is retiring because the White Sox won’t let him bring his son into the locker room.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Well, they would.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Just not every day.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Most pro teams do. It’s certainly not unusual to see the kiddos in there.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Young Adam LaRoche, now 14 years old, is a mainstay with the White Sox, even on road trips.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">One presumes LaRoche could afford a nanny.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But that’s not the point.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Nobody — no teammates, at least, not publicly anyway — seem bothered by Adam’s presence.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">With Adam, we’re not talking about Spaulding Smails, the judge’s grandson in “Caddyshack.”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">By all accounts Adam is very polite, doesn’t have the run of the joint, stays out of the way and even helps out with odd chores in and around the clubhouse.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Perhaps baseball’s saltier language has to be sanitized a bit when he’s around, but there apparently have been no complaints from other players.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The White Sox, it appears, were trying to get a handle on things before it became a problem.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">They seemed to be saying it is OK to do it occasionally, as all players do.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But don’t go over the top — not every day.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s a tricky issue, not covered by the Founding Fathers in the Constitution.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">How many of us would be afforded the opportunity to drag the kids to work with us?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Not many.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Now, my own pride and joy would probably tell you that one of the highlights of her upbringing was meeting Shaquille O’Neal and being picked up over his head while her dad was finishing up one his silly essays.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But it was an isolated incident, certainly not the routine.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Most of us understand there’s work, and there’s family time, and make do as best we can.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">You deal with it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There’s apparently more to the White Sox story than just a boy and his dad — a lot of he said/who said bickering between LaRoche, team Executive Vice President Kenny Williams, and what kind of gentlemen’s agreement they had about the youngster accompanying dad to work.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Teammates have come to his defense, and it appears to be the lightning rod for a lot of distrust between the players and management.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">That part is for the Chicago folks to bicker over.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It does, however, bring to light a tricky aspect of sports.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Consumer alert: we’re treading on dangerous ground here, so just to clarify — in no way will I be speaking against fatherhood, the American family, the flag or apple pie or even Louisiana’s right to enjoy college football.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Motherhood is a wonderful thing, too, and I’m all for it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Duly noted, OK? So let’s tip toe through this carefully.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There are probably others, but I have two pet peeves on this subject.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">At some point during the NCAA tournament you will see it, but it doesn’t have to be the tournament, or even basketball.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But college basketball coaches are the worst offenders in dragging the kid(s) up on the podium for the big postgame news conference.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It usually makes for a good photo op.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But it never seems quite right. Not creepy, really, just … I guess it all seems too scripted.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Contrived.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It looks like some management team’s public relations idea to humanize the big-time head coach and make him more sympathetic in the public’s eye.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Often as not, it doesn’t work.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Children are great, but they shouldn’t be used as stage props.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There are times when it looks like the youngster isn’t quite sure who this guy in the expensive suit holding her really is.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Call me a skeptic, but when the coach is on the hot seat, you wonder if there’s something else at work.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">How are you going to ask him the tough questions with the little toddler daughter in his lap making goo-goo eyes at daddy.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Fortunately, this act may have peaked a few years ago and seems to be on the wane.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Golf has its own problem, though, and it seems to be escalating.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s almost like they have the kids practice the mad rush to jump in daddy’s arms on the 18th green.</span>

<span style="font-style: italic;" class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Make sure you’re laughing with glee, and it wouldn’t it be so cute if little Timmy took a tumble on the way out.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Good guy Phil Mickelson is probably the worst offender. If he’s coming down the final hole with a lead, the cameras never fail to pick up the scene greenside, where the loving wife is queuing the kids up, like daddy was coming home from Afghanistan.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">They’ve all got the routine down pat by now, which is part of the problem.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Not that it should be forbidden, just not scripted.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Drew Brees picking up his young son after the Super Bowl victory.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Now, that was a father-son moment.</span>