Newton’s new laws of motion

Published 11:59 am Wednesday, January 27, 2016

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">OK, it’s hard not to pull for Peyton Manning to cap his career with a victory in Super Bowl L.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But wait.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Somehow, of all the Roman numerals this spectacle has walked us through, that one looks the most out of place. Super Bowl L? Who wants to play in the ultimate game when it already has an “L” attached to it?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I propose … Super Bowl Gold.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But we’re getting sidetracked and that’s an argument for another day.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">So, really, how can you not want Manning to win another one before hanging it up?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Certainly he’s the sentimental choice here in the twilight of his career, having lost his fastball but getting by on guts, guile and a crafty knuckleball.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Mainly, it would be nice if he has a great game, but mostly you just hope, on the world’s biggest stage, that he doesn’t go all Willie Mays trying to play one last World Series too many.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It will surely be his swan song.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">That’s one side of the ball — the old traditional side, wearing high tops.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The other is more intriguing.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Love him or hate him, you might as well get used to Cam Newton.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I don’t think he’s going anywhere.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Most, it seems, at least those outside of the state of North Carolina — the Auburn fan base and perhaps a few from Blinn (Texas) Junior College — fall in with the haters.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Maybe it’s because he always picks out a beaming youngster in the stands to rush up to and present with a football after each of his numerous touchdowns.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The nerve!</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">OK, maybe that’s not quite it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Maybe the whole “Superman” routine rubs other fans the wrong way.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Maybe Cam seems a little too proud of himself after scoring.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Even the old geezers among NFL fans have just about gotten used to expecting a sideshow following any NFL touchdown, and perhaps some day we’ll see Roman candles firing out of helmets.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Just not from quarterbacks.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Not yet.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">That’s still a line to cross, but Cam has no more problems crossing it than he does the goal line.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Even a lot of defenders, who stay up nights dreaming up their own choreography should the situation arise, get offended by Cam’s theatrics.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Your quarterback is still supposed to be the calm voice of reason in a huddle full of crazed lunatics.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">When your average quarterback does some sort of end zone celebration, it almost comes off as sarcastic. It’s some awkwardly staged gyration, almost like an inside joke, seemingly staged solely to give his mates in the offensive line something to chuckle over and rib him about in the film room next week.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">No different, really, than Nick Saban’s or Les Miles’ attempts at dabbing to impress recruits with an honest, middle-aged try at being cool.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">That’s not Cam.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He has a 10,000-watt personality and when he scores it’s all coming out. That’s him.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’m old school enough to appreciate the old adage of scoring and acting like you’ve seen an end zone before.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But if it’s OK for the other scoring practitioners, then I say, you go, Cam. Knock yourself out.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The thing is, Cam really seems to think he’s Superman.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">And guess what?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Cam really is Superman.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He’s becoming what NFL defenses have always feared.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Basically, Cam Newton in the NFL looks like the eighth-grade kid who escaped to wreak havoc on the third-graders’ recess.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s almost not fair.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Cam ought to scare the bejabbers out of the NFL, particularly the defensive coordinators.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Newton is the quarterback they put together in some science lab, the perfect physical specimen, big and strong, as good and fast as about any running back but with maybe the strongest throwing arm in the league.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">This kind of thing has been threatened before but never quite happened.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Go back to — oh, who? — Randall Cunningham maybe. Michael Vick, too, he was going to destroy the competitive balance between offense and defense, and some even thought Tim Tebow might give it a go. There have been others. Robert Griffin III comes to mind.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But there seemed to be a familiar pattern. They’d make early splashes in their first years, make defensive coordinators pull out their hair and wonder if there was any way to stop them. But then they’d level off, some busting and some settling in as just another piece of an offensive puzzle.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Crisis avoided.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Cam is still young and did well early, too, but — news flash — he keeps getting better and better and dominating games more and more thoroughly.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He’s not levelling off. The gap between him and defenses’ ability to handle him is widening.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He’s a totally different weapon, seemingly built for the long haul.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s almost scary.</span>