NFL not only place Tebow doesn’t belong

Published 10:22 am Tuesday, September 15, 2015

You just knew there would be collateral damage when Tim Tebow was, once again, denied entry into the National Football League.

And it has the potential to be catastrophic.

Why can’t the NFL look at the bigger picture here? There’s the common good to society for the league to think about.

The NFL has to find something Tebow can do, because already it’s been announced that Tebow is … Tebow is going to … Tebow … I just can’t type it … the horror … the devastation … Tebow is … run for your life … Tebow … OK, brace yourself … Tebow is … is coming back to the SEC Network as a commentator.

Make no mistake about it. Tebow is genuinely a nice guy.

But watching Tebow try to throw a tight, NFL-quality forward spiral is easy on the eyes compared to watching his attempts at college football commentary.

He just doesn’t have a true commentator’s arm. Never did. How many people did he fool in college?

Please, do not subject us to another year of this. Best to leave it to real pros. Like Booger.

LSU at Miss. State: You’ll be happy to know that Mississippi State got that Guinness World Record for mass cowbell clanging it was after. That’s good news for Royal Oak, Michigan, which is no longer saddled with the title. And State must be pretty proud of it since it was apparently a premeditated performance. Forecast for tonight, by the way, is for clear skies with a lot of racket. … Tigers, 29-19.

Kentucky at South Carolina: Not sure how many teams South Carolina could have beaten last week. But Kentucky just might be one of them. … Gamecocks, 32-23.

Toledo at Arkansas (at Little Rock): Only game Arkansas plays in The Rock this season. So Toledo goes from Stony Brook to Little Rock, although the aptly mascotted Rockets were unable — sound familiar? — to finish their scheduled opener last week due to weather. … Pork, 46-16.

You Read it Here First — Iowa at Iowa State: A game to be decided down and dirty, old style, right down there in the cornfields. … Iowa State, 44-37.

Middle Tennessee St. at Alabama: Nick Saban chided the media this week for using the cupcake word about MTSU. He’s funny like that. And he’s more a Little Debbie’s man anyway. … AlaSaban, 53-8.

Oklahoma at Tennessee: OU coach Bob Stoops is the Czar of SEC Bashers. Thing is, he has a way of backing it up. … Boomer Sooners, 39-32.

Missouri at Arkansas State: For all I know this is a big border rivalry. But I always thought the point of a “money game” was to go on the road and get paid, not pay somebody to come in. … Mizzou, 32-15.

Georgia at Vanderbilt: Commodores are the only SEC team that did not win last week, but, of course, you already guessed that. … Dawgs, 26-5.

Ball State at Texas A&M: Mega-expanded Kyle Field’s mega-concession stands will feature a 12-pound hot dog. Omigosh, that’s a bigger hot dog than Johnny Manziel. My only question: why? … Aggies, 53-16.

Jacksonville State at Auburn: Auburn’s Jordan-Hare Man Cave now has a video board that is college football’s largest, a monstrosity of such proportions that it blots out the surrounding countryside and even dwarfs A&M’s hot dogs. It’s all about bragging rights. … War Eagles, 51-15.

East Carolina at Florida: Rematch of last year’s thrilling Birmingham Bowl. … Gators, 37-15.

Fresno State at Ole Miss: Rebels won’t have UT-Martin to push around any more. No matter, only the names change. … Rebels, 44-19.

Tulane at Georgia Tech: This isn’t the kind of game that the Wave needs right now. But you never know. … Tech, 40-18.

Nicholls State at UL-Monroe: ULM didn’t finish its game against Georgia last week either, but the Warhawks still took a loss for their paycheck. … ULMs, 44-16.

Northwestern State at UL-Lafayette: Cajuns put a scare in Kentucky last week. … ULL, 43-26.

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com

Then-New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow warms up before a 2012 NFL football game in Nashville

Wade Payne