Hobbs column: You’d think LSU could at least dress the part
And just when you thought LSU could sink no lower …
Now, finally, the question must be asked: Do the Tigers have no shame?
Three consecutive losses apparently wasn’t enough embarrassment for these Tigers.
But how desperate can you get?
So the road to recovery — drum roll, maestro — now revolves around …
LSU will … I hesitate to even type this … the Tigers will … I wish this was just a wild, internet rumor … but LSU will, yes, the Tigers will wear yellow jerseys at home against Vanderbilt Saturday night.
Yellow!
I’ve seen them. Oh, they’re awful alrighty.
Here’s a suggestion: Why not try to reestablish the LSU identity by fighting out of this losing streak rather than playing under an assumed uniform so no one will recognize you.
Maybe LSU hasn’t been playing much like LSU lately, but the Tigers could at least try to look like the Tigers.
This is the answer? This may be worse than the Omar the Tiger fiasco.
And I’m afraid you can’t blame your meddling governor on this one.
I might suggest writing your congressman though.
This is, to cue up Jackie Chiles, reckless and careless and totally irresponsible — certainly no way for a Flagship University to act.
Worse yet, they’re over there bragging about it.
Or maybe it’s just another cash grab.
An LSU post on social media proudly announced: “LSU gold football jerseys available NOW in-store & online!” The ALL CAPS was LSU’s added touch, apparently with no irony intended.
But, whoopee. I’m sure the line will extend well down Nicholson Drive in a mad rush to scarf them up while they’re hot.
Or maybe not. Actually, I’m betting the school is underestimating its fan base’s sense of decorum.
Don’t fall for it. Send a message. School pride is not at stake here. Just the opposite. I’m begging you, furthermore, I beseech you: Don’t spend a plug nickel on one of those things. Let the school know you’re not that gullible.
You wouldn’t want to be seen wearing one in public anyway, certainly not in Tiger Stadium.
Boycott the gift shop to the point where LSU has to ship them all out to clothe the impoverished children of Haiti, like those unused t-shirts from Super Bowl losing teams.
LSU has been building up to this for a few years now.
It started with a somewhat harmless change of pace, wearing purple jerseys once a year just for no good reason except that they could.
They even stumbled onto a somewhat snazzy alternative, with purple jerseys, white pants and white helmets that still kinda looked like LSU.
But it’s become an epidemic.
This will be the fifth time in 11 games this season that the Tigers have gone gosh-awful alternative.
Enough, already. Stop the madness.
If you’re keeping score (and taking names) at home, it was purple jerseys against UCLA, gold helmets atop white pants and jerseys against South Alabama and white from head to toe in back to back road games against Arkansas and Texas A&M.
Thus far, LSU is keeping under wraps what color attire will go with the yellow jerseys. It will be ugly no matter what they chose.
This is just more proof that this LSU team is still in search of an identity, still doesn’t know what it wants to be when it grows up.
If Brian Kelly is behind this — and I’m not saying he is; my inquiries to LSU on it went unanswered — then it’s the final straw, a firing offense with proof that the program has fallen and it can’t get up.
Still, even if the buck stops with the head coach, somebody had to put the bug in his ear.
The street whispers even suggest that Nike has been pressuring the school into this nonsense.
You’d hope not.
But wait. Alabama is a card-carrying Nike school too.
You don’t see Bama dressing up in clown suits.
If LSU was the Alabama fashion consultant, the Tide would come out in houndstooth pants.
Nike is probably best known for turning Oregon into a sartorial paint factory explosion, the gaudier and more outlandish the better.
But, OK, that kind of became Oregon’s “thing.” It works for the Ducks. Their brand, so to speak. Good for them. Everybody must be somebody.
But LSU ain’t that somebody.
Sorry, I know I’ve ranted about this before, fairly recently even. That sermon apparently fell on deaf ears.
And I’m not shutting up until somebody at LSU listens.
LSU’s traditional uniform, the “dress whites” — not the “all whites” — is easily on the short list of the best looking duds in college football.
It also one of the most iconic and instantly recognizable ensembles in the game, all the more so because it’s suitable for home or away since few teams ever wear white jerseys at home.
It’s LSU’s brand. Embrace it. Quit running from it.
Unlike some of the onfield hijinks the Tigers have been up to, these are easily correctable errors.
Just don’t do it.
Instead, the school just assured that, win or lose against Vanderbilt Saturday, an ugly season just turned hideous.
Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com