Gamblers get their props today

Published 7:00 pm Sunday, February 4, 2018

No sense burying the lead on this Super Bowl Sunday, so …

Eagles 26, Patriots 22.

There. I said it.

Upset City.

America can will it to happen.

The Patriots menace will be at least temporarily derailed, if not deflated, and the smile on Tom Brady’s pretty face turned upside down by some off-brand named Nick Foles.

That means the Eagles, who last I checked were 4-point underdogs, will easily cover the spread.

That was the easy part. Mark it down (although — spoiler alert — I’ve been wrong before).

Now we can all get on with our lives.

But there’s so much more to Super Bowl Sunday than a final score.

For starters, there’s this:

You can be pretty sure you might have a gambling problem if … you feel compelled to bet on the pregame coin toss.

Your choices are “heads” and “tails” and I believe the odds are roughly 50-50 or thereabouts, minus the vigorish.

I would suggest tails, because the Eagles have tails and they are, after all, going to win the game. Eagles also have heads, but so do Patriots, who mostly don’t have tails in any of the old paintings. It was the Redcoats who turned tail and ran.

You could probably flip a coin on that one.

Or maybe we’re overthinking it and need to call that 1-800 Gambling Problem number.

The important thing to remember is that this is America, and if you want to bet on the coin toss of the Super Bowl, by golly you can do it — legally, if you’re in Las Vegas — no matter the logic you employ.

It’s part of what we fought all those wars for.

They’re what’s known in the vernacular as “prop bets” and the coin toss is one of the more sensible ones.

Keep in mind, this is not square- or board-related. 

For most, those 100 squares on one board are really what the Super Bowl is about.

Sorry, but I can’t help you there. Never mind that I’ve never won a dime on one.

My only advice would be to buy multiple squares and, if possible, arrange them into some sort of naughty pattern in distinctive ink that will make the talk of your Super Bowl party.

But it’s a totally different discussion, sort of random and based solely on chance since the numbers are picked for you.

Those fans with a brain, however, can bet on who scores the first touchdown, who wins the game MVP, whether either quarterback passes for more than 400 yards or if there’s a defensive touchdown, a special teams touchdown, etc, etc.

Personally, I like the one about whether a touchdown will be overturned by replay. The conspiracist will probably counter that it depends on whether it benefits the Eagles or the Patriots.

But this is the NFL’s biggest stage and the league will likely do everything it can to showcase it’s biggest stars, mainly the zebras.

They need their air time.

But that’s child’s play.

The wise investor will get down on how long it will take Pink, who evidently is a Grammy Award winning singer, to get through the national anthem.

Analysts are conflicted on this one because Pink has been battling the flu.

The over-under is 2 minutes flat. Somebody with way too much time on their hands has researched it and determined that the average for all previous Super Bowls has been 1:48.

This one could have long-term ramifications because it will set the bar for another prop, mainly whether any scoring drive in the game (Game? There’s a game?) will take less time than her rendition.

By then one important bet should be settled, namely what color shirt Patriots coach Bill Belichick starts the game in (they’re assuming Belichick will wear a shirt). Anyway, pink is a decided long shot.

Then you can bet on what color shoes Justin Timberlake will start his halftime show wearing. Also, whether he is wearing a hat.

Is this a football game or a fashion show?

I just wish I had Timberlake on speed dial. I assume he’s got an idea on both.

But I guess it’s really time to dig out that 1-800 number.