Scooter Hobbs

Let’s see …

There was Cristobal.

Then Marco.

And, of course, we all remember our good friend Laura.

Which was followed by Delta and then Beta and something called Zeta — Delta Beta Zeta — which may sound like a harmless sorority, but not this year — no, you silly willy, not in 2020.

And now …

Hurricane season is finally, officially over, and, right on schedule, there it is — a Crimson Tide perched on Louisiana’s borders ready to make landfall.

Just more pain and suffering, destruction and probably widespread power outages.

You can name it Nick.

Nick and Alabama and the Crimson Tide are a familiar sight for Louisiana.

Historically, for instance, the Tide dominate LSU, except when it’s a Game of the Century, and at any rate, no matter the heartache it dishes out in these parts, Bama always seemed to respect the LSU game more than most on its schedule.

And no matter the history or the seemingly insurmountable odds, LSU and its legions of statewide always have seemed to approach the Tide with at least guardedly blind optimism — yes, this is the year!

And just last year, by golly, it was. The Tigers dominated way more than the 46-41 final score. LSU imposed its will, almost toyed with the Tide.

Cajun Ed Orgeron had been saying “We coming!” for a couple of years and dang if the Tigers didn’t just go up to Tuscaloosa and leave the Tide fans in drop-jawed awe.

Finally, that gargantuan elephant was off LSU’s shoulders.

The Tigers went on to win the national championship, right after snickering at Alabama for getting relegated to the Citrus Bowl.

It’s game for sure. Rivalry on, right? It’s a new era.

So this year, now on the eve of the big game that was, of course, once-delayed by the pandemic, the prevailing mood for LSU, accompanied by hand-signing, seems to be:

If you haven’t evacuated by now, it’s probably too late.

Most will likely hunker down, try to ride it out.

Alabama is always dangerous. But this being this year, the latest version appears to be a Category 5 Crimson Tide.

Bama will touch down in Baton Rouge this afternoon and presumably will spend Saturday night scoring touchdowns in bulk.

Just pray there’s no Crimson Storm Surge.

Orgeron, well, Coach O says he’s “excited,” to play the Tide, just proving once again there will always be reckless thrill-seekers and adrenalin junkies out there in harm’s way chasing the storms.

Maybe his players feel the same way.

Good for them.

The rest of the state is bracing for the worst, barely allowing themselves to hope for the best.

Put the National Guard back on alert.

LSU’s secondary had already been declared an SEC disaster zone, but just when it had begun to clean things up a tad … now comes this Tide, with the punch of Najee Harris by land, then the long passing game blowing the doors off everything in its path.

Sometimes, the roofs too.

So maybe it’s time to bring in another few platoons of insurance adjusters.

Put the remediators back in the starting blocks.

Yes, we’re going to need more blue tarps. Get the roofers on standby. Call back all those utility linemen — you ain’t done yet.

Hope you didn’t sell that gas generator yet.

And how long will the cable be out this time?

Get the governor involved. Is there any more federal relief money up there?

Send it quick.

LSU has never been so downtrodden and seemingly helpless headed into the annual affair.

Never has there been this kind of doom and gloom and resignation for a game with Alabama.

Well, maybe once.

Listen to this little bedtime story.

Back in 1993, I guess it was, the scenario seemed vaguely similar.

It was the ’90s, so it was a bad LSU team under Curley Hallman. A month before going to Tuscaloosa, LSU had taken an early 3-0 lead at home against Florida — and lost 58-3, still the worst rout in school history.

Alabama wasn’t ranked No. 1, but was defending national champions and was rolling along with the nation’s longest unbeaten streak.

One notable prediction for the game summarized LSU’s chances at victory as follows: “When pigs fly.”

No pork went airborne that afternoon.

But LSU won that day, in fact had to dominate the game to come away with a mere 17-12 victory that was just as shocking as a victory Saturday would be.

So, just saying …

Nah. Pay it no mind.

Just hunker down.

l

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.comAlabama head coach Nick Saban yells for a time-out against LSU during the second half of an NCAA football game Saturday, Nov. 9, 2019, in Tuscaloosa, Ala. LSU won 46-41. (AP Photo/Vasha Hunt)

Vasha Hunt