Bowl time merriest of the year

Published 7:01 am Friday, December 16, 2016

It really is the most wonderful time of the year …

Break out the tinsel. Deck the halls. Mistletoe for everybody and don’t hog the egg nog.

The holiday season officially begins at 1 p.m. Saturday, to be exact, with the first of 40 — count ’em, 40 — bowls.

It would be better if it were a nice, round number like 50, but this should tide us over with good cheer through the Christmas season

The more the merrier, I always say, so let’s take a brief look at all 40 of those suckers.

The Gildan Bowl honors underwear — the things you learn here, huh? — with New Mexico and Texas-San Antonio.

I’m guessing the young ones have to be shooed out of the stadium during the Las Vegas Bowl halftime show. Always better to send midwest rube teams to the strip than, say, Houston and San Diego State.

I’m skeptical of the Cure Bowl, even with Central Florida and Arkansas State in Orlando. Seems a little vague, like a charity scam. What, exactly, are they trying to cure? Details, please.

Cramton Camellia is in Montgomery, Alabama, and if you’re Appalachian State or Toledo, that’s not a bad holiday destination.

Maybe the New Orleans Bowl should eliminate the middle man and start playing it in Lafayette, since the Cajuns are making a fifth appearance in six years, this time against Southern Miss.

It’s hard not to imagine the Miami Beach Bowl without thinking of Central Michigan and Tulsa trudging through the sand.

The Boca Raton Bowl was formed to let people know where that school Lane Kiffin escaped to is located, but Memphis and Western Kentucky are playing in the thing.

BYU and Wyoming sounds like one of those rivalries that gets played about twice a month, so why not go to San Diego for the Poinsettia Bowl?

The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl is the greatest event name in all of sports, particularly when the Not So Famous Idaho Vandals are playing in it, I think against Colorado State. On a blue field.

Old Dominion has a football team? Who knew? Eastern Michigan in the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl — yo, commissioner, get an SEC tie-in for this thing.

In the Armed Forces Bowl, Louisiana Tech and Navy may still be scoring by the time the national championship game rolls around.

Shreveport and Camping World are off the hook. Mobile’s Dollar General Bowl is now the most anticipated swag bag in all of bowldom. Good bless you, Troy and Ohio.

Liked the Hawaii Bowl better on Christmas Day than Eve — the NBA always seizes that opening — but Middle Tennessee and Hawaii should be fun. Or not.

Miami (of Ohio) is at St. Petersburg (of Florida) against Mississippi State (of Starkpatch), which is the first of a record 12 SEC teams to go bowling, the only one with a losing record … and the second biggest favorite behind Alabama (of Saban).

Oddly, I really don’t have much of an opinion on Boston College and Maryland in the Quick Lane Bowl. But I’ll probably watch it, and you should too. It’s a civic duty.

Bet you’d never thought you’d hear Vanderbilt and bowl game in the same breath, but there the Commodores are in Shreveport for the former Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl against N.C. State. Vandy coach Derek Mason’s SWAT team vest makes it must-see TV.

Army heading to the Heart of Dallas Bowl to take on North Texas sounds like a federal intervention to a coup attempt.

When the Military Bowl comes on, turn down the TV volume and listen to the Wake Forest radio broadcast for inside tips against Temple.

There are worse places for Minnesota and Washington State to spend Dec. 27 than the Holiday Bowl in San Diego.

Leave the lights on for Boise State and Baylor in the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl.

Brief intermission: But hang in there, we’ll get through this together — only 20 more to go.

Pitt and Northwestern playing in Yankee Stadium for the Pinstripes Bowl sounds like Y.A. Tittle should quarterback for one of them. Excellent chance to see future LSU coordinator Matt Canada’s offense at work.

The Russell Athletic Bowl tore up the stadium turf in advance of LSU’s last appearance in the Citrus Bowl, but not to worry — Miami and West Virginia will now be playing on artificial turf.

Indiana and Utah playing in Foster Farms Bowl sounds about right.

Texas A&M and Kansas State in the Texas Bowl … better than the Kansas Bowl.

South Carolina and South Florida better hurry to the Birmingham Bowl before Legion Field falls down.

Virginia Tech and Arkansas could be benefit from the Belk Bowl’s fashionary swag bag.

Oklahoma State and Colorado in the Alamo Bowl … Okies meet a real defense up close and personal.

If the real the Liberty Bowl can identify the real Georgia, it will have served its purpose with TCU.

Sun Bowl could be the Daylight Bowl for Stanford, which should see plenty against North Carolina.

The way Tennessee and Nebraska stumbled home to end the regular season, it will be a miracle if either finds the way to Nashville for the Music City Bowl.

Air Force and South Alabama in the Arizona Bowl is proof that the refreshing glut of bowls at least gets all the academies in.

Florida State and Michigan ought to be for something more than just a bowl full of Oranges.

If you’re LSU and playing Louisville in the Citrus Bowl at 10 a.m., it’s far better that it’s on New Year’s Eve than New Year’s Day.

Kentucky and Georgia Tech may run ruts in the TaxSlayer Bowl in Jacksonville.

I’m afraid Washington has no idea what is about to hit them (hint: Alabama) in the Peach Bowl.

Just a hunch, but Clemson, yes, quirky Clemson, will probably get its act together against Ohio State in Fiesta Bowl.

Whew, I’m almost out of breath here …

Iowa and Florida in Tampa’s Outback Bowl really does sound like a retirement village riot waiting to happen.

When invited to the big boy bowls — this year’s it’s the Cotton — the group of five rep — this year it’s Western Michigan — usually do well against the favorite — this year it’s Wisconsin.

Southern Cal must be licking its chops waiting on Penn State to get to the Rose Bowl.

Auburn and Oklahoma in New Orleans for the Sugar sounds so 1950s.

For the national championship in Tampa, well, I’ve got a funny feeling about Clemson.

l

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.com