Winging it first day at Citrus Bowl

Published 7:56 am Thursday, December 29, 2016

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">ORLANDO, Fla. — Yes, excuse me, please. Got a minute? I’m not from around here … was looking for the Citrus Bowl.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">No, no. I know where the stadium is. It is now called Camping World Stadium, I believe.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Even has a field now. I understand they put some grass in it this time — even if it is fake, it is a huge upgrade from the muddy mess that LSU slogged through the last time the Tigers were here, which I guess was 2010 against Penn State.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Florida has always claimed to have better, far murkier swamps than Louisiana and the Sunshine State (false advertising) seemed intent on flaunting it that day.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Won’t be a factor this time.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But, no, not the stadium. I’m talking about the bowl</span> <span style="font-style: italic;" class="R~sep~ACopyBody">game</span> <span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">— better yet, the bowl</span> <span style="font-style: italic;" class="R~sep~ACopyBody">experience</span><span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">, the</span> <span style="font-style: italic;" class="R~sep~ACopyBody">hoopla</span><span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">, if you will.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Seen anything of it? Officially, it’s the Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl, which sounds like an early bird special you would order but …</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">No clue, huh? Never heard of it?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">OK, thanks.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Looks like I’m on my own. Got fogged in in Lake Charles and now I’m a little late to the party. But I’m starting to think it’s some kind of practical joke.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I did come to the proper place, right?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Yeah, OK. Says so right here. Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Yet if there’s any Citrus Bowl mania run amuck, it’s well hidden amidst the never-ending theme-park shuttle competition.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There was no hint of any Citrus Bowl at the airport, usually the dead giveaway when coming to a bowl game. But no banners, no welcoming jazz bands, nothing.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Or maybe they were hidden by all those dueling shuttle services, all them touting the cheapest fare to Disney World, Universal, SeaWorld and, yes, even Gatorland and Lego-something or another.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">America’s Theme Park(s), like one continuous, under-construction mall.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Not that there’s no buzz here and about.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There surely is.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">For the Christmas-New Year’s break, half of America seems to be here, not to mention large portions of the European and South American continents, and all of them appear to have 3.4 cute and excited children in tow, most of them in line in front of me. But none of them seem particularly interested in, or aware of, a looming football game.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Finally, I asked the shuttle driver point-blank if I was in the right city to cover a football game.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“Oh, yeah,” he said, a hint of recognition coming to him as he pointed out a roadside water ski-jumping competition going on at a small lake across the 10-lane freeway.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“Who’s playing again?”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LSU and Louisville, I told him. Louisville has the Heisman Trophy winner.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“The who?” he asked.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Never mind.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But thank you.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">At the hotel came the first hint of a bowl game — a small sign pointing toward Citrus Bowl Media Registration, down a mile-and-half hallway toward a ballroom the size of Westlake.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It was closed. They must all be at Discovery Cove.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LSU’s hotel, it turns out, is right across the street, even larger and more expansive than this one.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Ah-ha. There’s even a hint of football players. It’s a small banner by bowl hotel standards, but there it is, unfurled right across the grandiose front entrance: “Hyatt Regency Welcomes the LSU Tigers.”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Now we’re on to something.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The LSU Tigers, I learned, were in fact in town, but out at Disney World, a rite of Orlando bowl passage often snickered at by gents of their age.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It may be why Leonard Fournette chose not to come.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But at least it was confirmation of a sort.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Further journalistic digging uncovered that the Tigers have practiced here, at Celebration High School, which I believe was built by Disney as a grand experiment in utopian living and educating.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There was even a tall tale of the Tigers, in a typical bowl stunt, having been given free run of a local Buffalo Wild Wings and consuming some 4,000 of the sponsor’s signature product shortly after arrival Tuesday.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Oh, the humanity.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’m more interested in hearing how they might devour this Heisman Trophy winner, but that apparently will have to wait.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The best you could do Wednesday was get details of Matt Canada’s final game at Pittsburgh before taking over the LSU offense with a mandate to bring it into the modern age.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">With all LSU eyes on Pitt, he probably chose the wrong day to score fewer than 28 points for the first time all season. The four turnovers were also fairly inconvenient, but at LSU, unlike at Pitt, he should have some semblance of defense to balance things out.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">That will be the working theory, at least.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’ll look into it. Rumor has it he is heading here now.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Rest assured, there is a bowl game scheduled here, probably Saturday.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’m going to track down some details tomorrow. Promise.</span>

<span class="R~sep~AZaphdingbatdot7pt">l</span>

<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">Scooter Hobbs</span> <span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">covers LSU</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">athletics. Email him at</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">shobbs@americanpress.com</span>