Saints in wrong 1 percent
Published 7:12 am Sunday, December 18, 2016
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">You worrywart. You probably thought the Saints season was over and done for.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Oh, ye of little hope.</span>
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<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Keep the faith in the Who Dats? Or at least hear me out.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Yes, this would involve the playoffs … and feel free to cue up the old Jim Mora tirade as an appropriate accompaniment.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But, according to the New York Times, no less, there still a glimmer of hope and a bit of prayer.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Yes, I’m saying it’s possible.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Not very, mind you.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">It probably involves a lot of common core math and a long suspension of common sense.</span>
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<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Who knows who came up with this formula?</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But don’t ask too many questions here, just listen up.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Yes, somebody did some funny math that gives the Saints — if they just win their final three games — a fleeting wisp of a snowball’s chance in hell.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">To win the division — yes, and host a playoff game — the chance right now stands at 0.77 percent (on a scale, I presume, of 100).</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Hey, nobody said this thing was going to be easy, or very likely.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Forget Mora’s pessimism. Crank up Jim Carrey — So you’re saying there’s a chance? …</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But forget that pipe dream. Dumb and Dumber.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Maybe an actual division title is aiming too high.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Maybe you shouldn’t be so greedy. Who really expects perks of the trade when you’re 5-8 and floundering while listing port side?</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">So, OK, you set your sights a little lower. Let’s be realistic here. Let’s think about a wild-card spot.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">If you properly downsize expectations, the Saints’ chances for postseason survival soar all the way up to … hold on, I want to double-check this … yes, it says so right here … the Saints — still having to win out, of course — before kickoff today at the Cardinals — have a 0.88 percent chance of making it to the playoffs.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Don’t hold your breath — science says you’ll have less than a 0.01 percent chance at survival.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But is this a wonderful country or what?</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Don’t ask me who has to win or lose what and how, and certainly not by how many. For all we know there could even be ties involved.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">You’d probably have to call in the seven plagues of ancient Egypt.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I honestly don’t know.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Those kind of details were probably outsourced.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But I read it in the New York Times, which hasn’t made up a story in weeks now.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Besides, nobody could make this stuff up.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Years ago, at about this same stage of the NFL season, a Louisiana media outfit — which shall remain nameless to protect the ambitiously innocent — used a computer to figure out something like all 97 possible combinations of the way the season could play out and what effect each would have on the Saints’ playoff hopes.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">It was a massive undertaking, journalism at its finest, and they used an entire page of a daily newspaper to display their hard work and computation.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Well, wouldn’t you know it? It turned out there were actually 98 possibilities (not 97), and I don’t think I have to tell you which scenario came home to roost.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">I guess they had to run a correction to apologize for any possible confusion.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">At any rate, the rogue scenario, as I recall, did not bode well for the Saints.</span>
<p class="indent" style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">And there’s a good chance that the 0.88 percent chance they’re clinging to will evaporate shortly after the national anthem out in Arizona today.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But you never <span class="text_link link_wrap type_url" data-link-type="URL" data-link-target="http://know.OK" style="cursor: pointer; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold;">know.</span><span class="text_link link_wrap type_url" data-link-type="URL" data-link-target="http://know.OK" style="cursor: pointer; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold;">OK</span>, yes, you do. This Saints’ season is already down the tubes. The hipster version of Saints fans are even turning to the dark side by the droves. There are whispers, even in polite company, of abandoning the team for its own good. This theory, stated with a certain “I know more football than you do” aloofness, states that the Who Dats ought to tank the rest of the season, three games I believe it is. The state’s general welfare would be better served by moving further and further up the NFL draft order with every loss. As I understand it, it’s not anger, with threats to break out the bags again. It’s just being honest, calculating and taking a realistic approach to improving the team for the long haul. I have even heard idle chatter that — what the hey? — why not bench Drew Brees, just to see if there’s anything else back there that can throw a football? That’s fine. Certainly your right. And I feel your pain. But I don’t think you should go there yet. The Saints need a strong finish (OK, decent would be an upgrade). Things are bad enough right now. Lose three more games, and the talk really gets nasty. Knee-jerk decisions could follow. And you know what I’m talking about. The honeymoon on that Super Bowl XLIV title in 2010 has probably run out. But as of now, I still can’t wrap my arms around any version of the New Orleans Saints that doesn’t involve Sean Payton as head coach and Drew Brees at quarterback.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;">l</span>
<p style="color: rgb(74, 73, 73); font-family: ‘Segoe UI’, Frutiger, ‘Frutiger Linotype’, ‘Dejavu Sans’, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.08px; line-height: 14.112px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">SCOOTER HOBBS</span> covers LSU athletics. Email him at <span class="text_link link_wrap type_eml" data-link-target="shobbs@americanpress.com" data-link-type="EML" style="cursor: pointer; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold;">shobbs@americanpress.com</span></span>
