March for Life: ‘When we get love right, we get life right’

Published 8:02 am Sunday, January 25, 2026

Those who march for life, march for love.

That was the message shared Thursday night by Amber Dubois during the Louisiana Right to Life March in downtown Lake Charles.

“Love isn’t always easy, love isn’t always convenient; sometimes, it’s a little messy,” Dubois  said. “But the beautiful things in life that we cherish, the things we hold close to our hearts, the things that we find honorable, the things that come with a cost that come with sacrifice, that come with a little bit of trials, come with love. When we get love right, we get life right.”

Dubois — who grew up in the Acadiana-Lafayette area — said her upbringing was a tad different than her classmates and friends.

“My parents divorced when I was young — about 6 years old — and after the divorce instead of the typical shared custody or one parent has custody and the other visits, my siblings and I were raised by my grandparents — who loved us deeply and made many sacrifices for us,” she said.

She said her grandparents made sure food was on the table, their grandchildren were clothed, did well in school, went to church, and had friends who helped them make good choices.

“Growing up it was normal, but as I was exposed to more people and talked to more classmates I realized it wasn’t that normal,” Ardoin said. “My parents were alive and well, but we weren’t living with them. I didn’t understand why.”

Ardoin said she didn’t initially receive answers to her questions and increasingly became frustrated as she grew older. She said when she became a teenager, she got a little bit more “grit.”

“I put on my nudging gloves with my mom and I’d nudge her a little bit more and something I said convinced her and she agreed that I was ready to know the truth. She took the day off of work, drove down and checked me out of school and we went to a little downtown square and we sat on a bench on a beautiful day and she told me the truth and she answered all my questions.”

Ardoin said that day changed her life.

“She looked at me and said, ‘There’s something I haven’t told you.’ She said my father wasn’t my father that I had been conceived in rape,” Ardoin said. “She shared with me her account that she had been young and alone in a new city and had been sexually assaulted and raped. A few months later she had taken a fall; she was fine but she got checked out and they did some blood work and she was pregnant.”

As a young teenager, Ardoin said the news was difficult to process.

“Something deep, deep down knew something was missing and something clicked. This truth made sense and explained a lot of things — just in this small area. Everything else was turned upside down.”

Ardoin she felt a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon was separating her from everyone else in her life.

“My sisters were still my sisters but they were my half-sisters. My grandparents were still my grandparents but they were my stepdad’s — not my biological dad’s — parents. I didn’t know anyone else who shared this. I was alone.”

Ardoin said she felt angry for a long time — at her biological father for the pain he caused her mother and for abandoning them, and angry at the adults who knew the truth and didn’t tell her.

When the anger faded, the shame took over.

“According to the world — even to many pro-lifers — I didn’t deserve to be here. I wasn’t worthy. I was an accident; God had no plan, God had no purpose. For many years, I struggled with that. I felt that I had to prove that I deserved to breathe the same air as everyone else. I had to prove that my mom made the right decision in keeping me.”

She said she would eventually come to learn that worthiness doesn’t work that way.

“I would hear that echo of ‘pro-life except in the case of rape,’ I would hear — and still hear — ‘pro-life except in the case of Amber.’ That’s hard to hear.”

Ardoin said it took a lot of therapy and a lot of healing before she felt comfortable sharing her story and speaking up for the vulnerable.

“I do it because a lot of people try to speak for these hurting women and these unwanted children, but they don’t actually ask us our story, how we feel, what do we think.”

Ardoin said loving both the mother and the baby is the answer.

“When we get love right, we get life right,” she said. “Loving the mother, showing compassion, that’s exactly what we should do. We like solutions but in this case a fix-it solution isn’t really a fix-it solution. We think by offering abortion it will help erase the memory or undo what happened. It doesn’t. What the mother needs is support and love.”

Ardoin said she asked her mother if looking at her caused her to relive the trauma.

“I asked her if it hurt to see my face and be reminded of this pain. She said, ‘Yes, but not in the way you think.’ She said it hurt because she knew one day she would have to tell me the truth and it would hurt me.”

She also asked her mother why she chose to keep her.

“She said she knew that the pain of the abortion would be worse than the pain of the rape; it would just be pain upon pain.”

Ardoin said there is a stigma attached to the children born of rape.

“There’s this idea that children like me are somehow different; we’re genetically wired for violence and destruction. That we can never be lovable or worthy of love. In some countries, like Rwanda, they have special titles for us called ‘monster babies’ and ‘devil’s spawn.’ In some parts of those countries if a mother conceives in a sexual assault — if she’s raped and unmarried — they kill the mother and the baby and call it honor killings because the woman has brought shame upon her family.”

Ardoin said even though Roe v. Wade has been overturned, some states still offer abortion in the case of rape, incest and when the mother’s life is in danger.

“Rape, incest, life of the mother. Rape is always listed first. Why are the people like me always the first to go? We believe we all have intrinsic value that is not determined by our age, status. That should also cover how we are conceived. No, this wasn’t Mom’s plan, but God has done something with me. People have to stop seeing people like me as less, as expendable. It’s not fair and it’s not just.”

Ardoin asked her mother if she ever regretted keeping her.

“She said words to me that day that I still hear today in my mind; it echoes. She looked up at me and she made sure I was looking at her and she said, ‘You are the best decision I ever made.’ ”

Ardoin said she is grateful to her mother for giving her a chance at a life, which she described as “full and beautiful.”

She said she has a job she loves as a teacher, a rescue dog, and a love of pineapple on her pizza and white chocolate mochas.

“I also have three unborn babies in heaven with my husband and we have one little one who is 6 months old. Today we march for love because when we get love right, we get life right. I share this story for people like my mom, for people like me and also for my daughter. In a world so full of hate and violence and pain, I want to make the world a better place for her.”