Two problems have been bugging me for quite some time. First is the almost total absence of traffic law enforcement. Second, the constant barrage of text messages from scammers trying to get my money.

As luck would have it, KPEL-FM at 96.5 in Breaux Bridge that covers the Acadiana area has written about both of those issues. The station airs a news/talk format.

I’d like to share some of KPEL’s driving “commandments” with some revisions of my own.

The station said drivers in Louisiana think green means go, yellow means go fast, and red means go really fast. So the message is — don’t take off as soon as the light turns green because someone might come barreling through the intersection.

Protected left turns in Louisiana are rare. So be wary of drivers who make their own little green left turn arrows when the arrows aren’t really there.

Use of a turn signal in Louisiana is a declaration of war. So be cautious when using a turn signal to change lanes.

KPEL said, “Basically, it signals your intent to invade the sovereign nation of Someone Else’s Lane, which they own by birthright. By using your turn signal with intent to merge, you’re just asking the driver in the other lane to speed up and form a blockade against your unlawful invasion. Don’t do it.”

Trying to pass? The station said, “Can’t pass on the left? Try the right lane, instead. No right lane? No problem. Use the shoulder.” So the message is to stay out of the way of drivers who weave in and out of traffic.

Can’t find a parking place? “Easy,” KPEL said. “Just make your own. Drive up on the sidewalk, if you want. Park in the grass. No man can judge you.”

Then, there are the tailgaters who may flash their high beams at you, honk once or twice, cut into the other lane and then cut right back in front of your vehicle as close to your front bumper as they can. It’s called highway royalty.

KPEL said driving the speed limit in Louisiana is a sure sign that you’re not used to driving in Louisiana. The station said, “A general rule is to drive at least 15 mph above the speed limit. True Louisiana drivers get their laws from a higher power: themselves.”

In its story on texting, KPEL said if individuals get texts from numbers they don’t recognize, most simply don’t answer, delete them and send them to junk mail. Some block the numbers. Here are some texts that should never receive responses of any kind:

The caller says they’re from Publisher’s Clearing House and you’ve won even though you didn’t enter the contest.

The scammer says your bank or credit card account is frozen and he needs your personal information to fix the problem. Or the caller will say your debit card has been compromised and the scammer pretends to be your banker who needs your personal information.

You receive a message about a failed package delivery attempt and to get the right address, call the number listed above.

The scammer will say your student loan will be forgiven and you have to give them some personal information. The caller says you have unpaid taxes and the only way to resolve that is to pay through the phone.

The caller says your package is on hold at the post office and to click this link to fix the problem. KPEL didn’t mention it, but how about the call that your grandson is in jail and needs some money to get out?

Older Americans, unfortunately, are major victims of scammers. You can understand, for example, why a grandmother would panic and forget to call someone and check on her grandson before sending a scammer some money.

My iMac computer froze once and a phone number to call popped up. I called,  thinking it was Apple Inc. It wasn’t and that call eventually cost me over $500. And the scammer called me a number of times after that, apparently thinking I was an easy mark.

Never respond if you don’t know or aren’t sure who is calling, texting or sending you an email message. Legitimate callers will leave you a message.

Jim Beam, the retired editor of the American Press, has covered people and politics for more than six decades. Contact him at 337-515-8871 or jim.beam.press@gmail.com.

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