Well, thank goodness. Saturday the 43-game bowl season arrives in all its holiday glory.

So buckle up. Time for a little primer.

It was some years back, in Atlanta, when I realized where the bowl business was headed.

I was minding my own business in the press box covering an LSU visit to the Peach Bowl, watching the halftime festivities with one eye when all of sudden, almost without warning, the entire Georgia Dome was attacked by flying cows.

OK, I guess they’d be better described as “floating” cows and they were actually “drifting” via parachutes down toward a terrified fan base. Truth be told, upon closer inspection, they were mere inflatable cows of a plastic variety and various sizes.

But children were fleeing to their mommie’s arms anyway, and some no doubt are traumatized to this day.

False alarm. It turned out to be nothing more threatening than Chick-fil-A’s way of announcing that beginning the following year they’d be sponsoring the Peach Bowl.

It was hardly the first or even the silliest corporate bowl sponsorship. Louisiana set the bar high, though often topped since, long ago with Shreveport’s Poulan Weed-eater Independence Bowl, which was quickly shortened to Weed-Eater Bowl, aka, Weed-Whacker Bowl.

But don’t laugh. It’s now the Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl and, according to the sponsor’s website, they “provide intelligence analysis and warfighter support to the Intelligence Community and Department of Defense to enable …” You probably don’t want to know the rest. Just know that they know if you’ve been naughty or nice … and they can probably have you vaporized on a whim.

That’s good to know as the bowl season begins. In many cases I know you’re wondering what in the world some of these sponsors are and how big of a threat are they to your bowl pool? I’m here to help, thanks to crack investigative journalism and a lot of Google searches.

Most are far less threatening, if you can excuse the Weed-eater ante being upped in New York with the Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl.

But imagine the potential for mischief in Los Angeles with the Starco Bowl Hosted by Gronk. Starco, I learned, is probably best known for its “vodka-infused whip cream.” But imagine a Rob Gronkowski-infused bowl game with alcohol nearby. What could go wrong?

But when it comes to endorsements, don’t be fooled by the Scooter’s Coffee Bowl (Frisco, Texas). It sure caught my eye — and I don’t even drink coffee. I did see one of the chain’s shops once in Omaha.

Not that there won’t be plenty to wash down when the bowl season is over.

A few foodstuffs bowls really caught my eye — no idea what Famous Toastery Bowl is, except they toast stuff in Charlotte, where the bowlery is. But is it more famous than the Famous “Do you want fries with that?” Idaho Potato Bowl? That’s singular, but are we really to believe there is only one famous potato amongst the chronic surplus of them in Idaho?

And don’t forget condiments, which can be a problem when used in excess (bulk).

Witness the Duke’s Mayo Bowl.

But now, fortunately, you have the ServPro First Responder Bowl on hand (Dallas). ServPro specializes in fire and water clean-up, but will be Johnny-on-the-spot to tidy up the mess in Charlotte from that Duke’s Mayo Bowl postgame head-drenching of the winning coach, a marvel of modern product placement.

Nobody is going to go hungry. In Orlando alone you’ve got both the Cheez-It Bowl and Pop-Tarts Bowl and a personal new favorite: The Avocados from Mexico Bowl. Can you say Guacamole coach’s dump?

I figured Wasabi — as in Wasabi Fenway Bowl — was something spicy to eat. But no, it’s another high-tech data storage outfit — hosting a football bowl in an old baseball yard that still has a manual scoreboard.

And when you heard LSU was headed to Tampa, you were probably thinking it’d be another steak night at the Outback. Not anymore. Tampa’s now-ReliaQuest Bowl is another cybersecurity outfit, so don’t mess with them unless you want your blooming onion knocked off, electronically.

Speaking of false advertising, imagine Tulane’s surprise when it gets to Annapolis for the GoBowling.com Military Bowl and find out the bowling is the kind with spares, pinsetters and smelly rental shoes.

And, by all means, don’t forget the Tony the Tigers Sun Bowl in El Paso.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled bowling gorge.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com