Editor’s note: With assistance from a kind elf on the North Pole media communications team, the American Press was able to speak briefly with Mrs. Claus, wife of Santa, via the FaceTime app Friday evening. Here are excerpts from that conversation.

How are you this
evening, Mrs. Claus?

MC: I’m just fine, dear.

We’re talking to you from Lake Charles, La., in the southeastern United States, down by the Gulf of Mexico.

MC: Oh, yes. Santa has mentioned that area. You poor people have had your share of terrible weather events in the last few years, haven’t you?

We certainly have, Mrs. Claus. Has Santa said anything else about this area?

MC: Why yes, he has. He likes to stop at Prien Lake Park there to let the reindeer drink at the pet water fountain. It’s a good place to land, he said, and the reindeer enjoy resting there. He said there is some road construction going on all around that area, but he’s still going to try to make a landing at the park. It might take a bit of magic, but he thinks he can do it.

We certainly hope he can do that, Mrs. Claus. Has he said anything else?

MC: Well you know some refer to Santa as St. Nick, don’t you? So naturally, Santa is understandably quite fond of Mayor Nic Hunter because they share the same name.

Mrs. Claus, we know Santa is wonderful in so many ways, but is there anything he does that you just find, well, annoying?

MC: Well let’s see. I love him very much. He’s very dear to me, so I try not to concentrate on things he does that I don’t particularly care for. But sometimes he forgets to take his boots off at the door and he comes tromping in and leaves an icy slush all over my clean floor. And he loves his cookies, you know. He’ll eat them and I often find crumbs in his easy chair by the fire. But I just let that go because I love him very much, like I said.

Do you and Santa have any children?

MC: No, we never had any of our own. We figured it was best that way because we consider all the children of the world to be ours. We love them all — even the so-called naughty ones.

If a child is naughty, is it true Santa doesn’t leave them any toys?

MC: (Sighs) Well, it’s a little complicated. That’s how it’s supposed to be — Santa leaving lumps of coal in their stockings, as you may have heard. But Santa is a big softy, you know, and sometimes he has been known to (clears throat) bend the rules.

Do you and Santa ever go on a vacation?

MC: We do take a week once a year or so to visit a warmer climate — which can be practically anywhere on Earth because, well, its quite cold here! We always disguise ourselves so as not to cause a scene anywhere we go. The good people of the world should know that they may be vacationing right next to Santa and me and not even know it! We always enjoy ourselves, though, and we come back
refreshed and ready to get back to our work.

Do you and Santa ever get tired of wearing red clothes all the time?

MC: Not at all! Red is Santa’s favorite color, by far. It’s the color of love and Santa and I have so much love in our hearts for all the children — even those who have “grown up” and now have children of their own. So red is really the perfect color for us, don’t you think?

But of course in the workshop, Santa does like to wear plaid flannel shirts in various colors. And we do wear green occasionally because it’s also a Christmas color.

If people take a charter plane to the North Pole, can they visit you and Santa?

MC: (Chuckles) Oh no, no, no dear. They could show up but they would not be able to see us or hear us. Layers of magic dust in the atmosphere prevent anyone from being able to do that unless the circumstances are very, very special.

Tell us about the elves. Do they all live with you and Santa?

MC: The elves! They actually have their own place. We have a number of large metal buildings set up for them— similar to what you would call Army barracks. The elves have everything they need in there: beds, showers, kitchens and their very own gyms and game rooms.

Can you tell us what the elves will be doing on Christmas morning, when all their toy making is done?

MC: (Laughs) I can tell you exactly what they’ll be doing. I pop up several hundred bowls of movie butter popcorn for them and they all settle in to binge watch the original “Star Trek” television series on their big screen TVs.

“Star Trek?” Really?

MC: Oh yes. They do this every year. They love that character Spock, you know, because he has pointed ears just like they do. Every time he appears on the screen there is quite a bit of whooping and hollering like you wouldn’t believe!

Do you have to cook for all the elves? What do they like to eat?

MC: The elves can do their own cooking, but Santa and I are so very fond of them that we have them over often to eat with us in our quarters. All of them are such a delight. They like to eat most anything, really, but they are partial to Keebler brand cookies because they are made by elves.

Can you tell us what you will be giving Santa for Christmas?

MC: I am giving him something very practical. I made him a light-weight Santa suit out of moisture wicking fabric to change into when he’s delivering toys in the warmer climates on Christmas Eve.

Down in Brazil, South Africa and even parts of your country, Santa gets pretty warm in that thick red suit of his. He’ll be much more comfortable in those areas wearing this new suit next year. (Chuckles)

Do you and Santa ever plan a date night?

MC: Oh yes. Each year on our wedding anniversary he takes me on a sleigh ride around the earth. It’s the only time I get to ride in the sleigh and I love it. It’s just me and Santa and a few reindeer. We don’t need the whole herd without the weight of all those toys, you know. We take off and glide along through all the stars in the night sky and it’s simply magical.

Can we ask how old you are, Mrs. Claus?

MC: You can ask, dear, but I simply can’t tell you. You see, there is no designated time zone at the North Pole, so time more or less stands still here. Santa and I have been around for longer than I can remember and I expect we’ll be here for ages to come.

Thank you so much for sharing your time with us during this busy evening, Mrs. Claus.

MC: You are so welcome, dear. Please tell all of your readers that Santa and Mrs. Claus wish them all a very Merry Christmas!