I guess I’m just not a grassy knoll kind of guy.

Also, I think it would have been far more complicated for Hollywood to fake a moon landing in a remote sound studio than to go ahead and land earthlings on the real thing. Didn’t Neil and Buzz bring back tons of green cheese to prove it?

But you’ll never convince me that the U.S. government is hiding leftover little green aliens out in New Mexico somewheres, maybe Area 51, and the feds are still trying to decipher the spaceship they crashed in.

Furthermore, if anybody had ever captured an actual Big Foot, I believe we now have the technology to have stuck one in a protective zoo rather than hide them under the Washington Monument or some such craziness.

In younger days maybe I could buy into such nonsense.

And it’s not like I ever grew into full maturity.

But I happen to believe that UFO sightings are probably more alcohol-related than CIA handiwork they don’t want you to know about.

Just never cared much for grand conspiracy theories, even in this social-media age.

All it takes on late-night TV is for some nutcase to get that snide smirk on his face and declare “And yet they would have you believe …”

… And I’m quick-fire channel-surfing over to something else.

In other words, I’m a tough sell. Shoot, naive me still clings to the notion that the SEC headquarters is located a stone’s throw from the Alabama campus in Birmingham simply due to the coincidence of central geography.

All that said, I’m still not sure how LSU’s football team ended up ranked No. 10 in this season’s first College Football Playoff rankings.

Maybe the student zombies rushing the field in Tiger Stadium after the Ole Miss win — part of a sinister CFP plan, perhaps? — was justified after all.

Did anybody on that ranking committee see LSU play Florida State? Did they know the final score against Tennessee was 40-13, the Vols’ way? Do they know the Tigers are still starting two true freshmen in the offensive line?

It did, in fact, seem like the committee was far more impressed with the Tigers than even most the rabid LSU fan.

But it only took a cursory jog through the Twittersphere for it all to fall into place. The conspiracists were hot on the case almost immediately.

So now I get it. The Tigers’ somewhat curious lofty ranking was just a piece of the larger puzzle, all of it designed to keep CFP show pony Alabama front and center in the quest for one of the four playoff spots.

You could also learn that 2022 Tennessee, No. 1 on your CFP meter, is something cooked up in a laboratory, a high-tech, robotic clone of 2019 LSU. Not sure how that figures into all of this.

But, as it’s being explained, LSU may just be a pawn in this whole mess.

Maybe the Tigers haven’t quite reached their ceiling, but even with an upset of Alabama Saturday, two losses is still two losses. So there doesn’t seem any path for LSU to crash the party.

But — and you have to follow along closely here — assuming No. 6 Bama goes all Rammer Jammer on the Tigers Saturday, it does give the Tide a more impressive win (on paper) to plug into future CFP selection conversations.

Social media have figured out that this is not some CFP love affair specific to Alabama, but just a general plot to keep the riffraff, your TCUs and whatnot, out of their party. All the while propping up the Privileged Elite.

There’s even a subplot making the rounds that it’s just to boost TV ratings with a top-10 matchup because, well, because television is the root of all hi-def evil and always gets its way.

So Saturday’s No. 6 vs. No. 10 game gains stature. Not exactly Game of the Century, but something of importance.

Maybe. I guess.

It does give one pause that not long after I explained a few days ago that LSU has no chance, suddenly there’s a four-spot difference between the Tigers and Tide.

That almost sounds doable.

The polls would have you believe there’s a wider gap, nine spots in one, 11 in the other. Las Vegas still tilts it almost two touchdowns toward the Tide.

But all of a sudden, amidst all the internet shouting and bickering, it seems, maybe there’s a chance …

I’m still skeptical.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com