Well, welcome to the Southeastern Conference, Brian Kelly.

Look around your new digs at LSU and click your heels.

No, you’re not at Notre Dame anymore.

The kid gloves come off. Recruiting is serious warfare in these parts.

Full contact.

No holds barred.

Lying, conniving and back-stabbing, even taunting and gloating.

Yeah, it’s crazy nuts.

And you should have seen it before Name, Image and Likeness kicked in, back when the NCAA had some bona fide rules schools could break.

Yeah, it kind of takes the sport out of it when all this NIL cash money is above board, a free-for-all nobody can do anything about and you don’t have to do the dealing in the back alleys.

Everybody is still figuring it out.

But, if nothing else, the SEC will adjust. And exploit. And push the envelope.

Always does.

You’ll get the hang of it. Or you better.

You’ll get a pass for your first foray into this rolling mosh pit that is SEC recruiting.

Considering everything — midseason firing of popular recruiter Ed Orgeron, late start with a new staff, the novelty of the NCAA transfer portal — this first LSU class of yours didn’t go too badly.

Could have been better, but that’s expected during a coaching change. Pretty much OK.

Nobody really knows how to grade it — yes, they grade recruiting classes down here — but they never really had to factor in The Portal before, so it’s somewhat uncharted click bait, but still fodder for the water cooler.

One of those recruiting think tanks, 247sports.com I guess it was, took a shot at it and came up with the Tigers at No. 6 in the country.

It was mostly due to the portal. Separate rankings for incoming high school recruits only, generally had LSU’s class in the mid-teens.

Most of the key whiffs were in-state, where LSU largely missed out on an especially strong class, even by Louisiana’s high standards.

Even with advances made to the science in recent years, I still have trouble buying into those hard and fast rankings. But, as I understand it, only three of the state’s top 10 players are headed to Tiger Stadium.

Probably best to focus more on that angle in the future, but this year, of all years, if you saw the shell of a roster in the Texas Bowl, the Tigers needed to replenish with transfers.

Some other lessons learned:

The little song and dance you got talked into with the tight end recruit, Danny Lewis from New Iberia? Yes, that was probably a set up.

The video went viral, of course, in a nerdy dad sort of way that humanized you and was the talk of the internet.

If they gave awards for recruiting stunts that somehow appeal to today’s kids — and, who knows? Maybe they do — surely it would have ranked in the top 10.

But SEC recruiting is as much a spectator sport as anything, and rife with practical jokes. So it should have come as no surprise when that dance partner, Lewis, got up Wednesday and pledged allegiance to Nick Saban and Alabama.

You could almost hear the Tide fans giggling while hiding in the bushes for the punch line.

Saban is sneaky like that — and is no stranger to absconding with some of the state’s best each year.

Evidently Bama was a little shy on wide receivers this go-around. So Saban dipped into Louisiana for four recruits this time — all receivers if you count that tight end.

Oh, and the commotion over in College Station? Just this year’s sideshow — Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher’s tirade calling out some other SEC coaches as “clown shows” because some question how many millions of oil dollars the Aggies spent on what is ranked as a historically good recruiting class.

Ole Miss’ Lane Kiffin tends to get under a lot the coaches’ skin. Part of the game down here.

But Fisher has recruiting bragging rights, which in the SEC is almost as cherished as a trophy.

Not sure what the shock was about. The Aggies have always spent the money and recruited well — like most of the SEC.

But the next SEC West title that A&M wins will be the Aggies’ first.

a

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com