D.C. finds Guice twice as nice

Published 6:00 pm Friday, July 6, 2018

It’s been — what? — going on three months now, and thus far our nation’s capital seems little the worse for Derrius Guice’s presence.

It’s as bureaucratic as ever, maybe more divided than ever, but whatever horrors Guice was supposed to add to the misery of life in Washington D.C. has yet to materialize.

It turns out there was no need to hide the women and children.

Right now, it seems, Guice is in serious danger of becoming the next mayor, only because the law makes no provision for the D.C. area to have its own governor.

Crazy as it sounds for a guy who has yet to play a down in the NFL, the former LSU star running back, by all accounts, might be the most popular Redskin of them all.

Eyewitness accounts report Beatlemania-style stampedes for his autograph by delirious fans waiting after the Redskins’ offseason workouts.

Just about every football fan in D.C., it seems, already has a selfie with Guice, and those who don’t have only themselves to blame because he surely hasn’t turned anybody down.

Shoot, about half the town has been to the movies with him.

A 20-year-old kid who’s been around less than three months seems to own the most political town in the free world.

And he’s just a football player.

This is nuts, of course, since the NFL rarely comes down to a popularity contest, and Guice has yet to do anything meaningful on the field.

Or is it so crazy?

Guice will be fine on the field, as anyone who watched him with the Tigers will attest. Just let the season get here.

That was never a question. He’s every bit the running back that Leonard Fournette is, and all Fournette did was turn around the awful Jacksonville Jaguars in his rookie season.

But Guice is a Redskin as a late second-round pick instead of one of the top 10 players taken in the draft because of the classic “offthe-field concerns.”

His plunge from top of the draft and the No. 2 overall running back behind Penn State’s Saquon Barkley (No. 2 overall to the Giants) was one of the big stories of the draft’s first night, which continued well into the second night, as it were.

It was all very vague, communicated by whispers and rumors.

He’s never been arrested and if LSU’s staff ever had any problems with him, nobody ever mentioned it.

Yet, suddenly, during the draft he was accused (by innuendo) of having a video-game habit and being addicted to his cellphone, particularly all the standard social media outlets.

So he manned up and pled guilty to being a 20-year-old.

Where, pray tell, did the NFL find 58 millennials to draft before Guice who didn’t have similar skeletons in the closet?

Then came a “report” that the NFL was investigating and ready to drop a bombshell on “something” that would be embarrassing to Guice and whoever drafted him.

Never materialized.

Or maybe it was the vibrant personality that scared the rest of them all off. Some factions of the NFL prefer not to stray far from the quiet, I-just-want-to-help-the-team Stepford Wives-type persona. And Guice is nothing if not an outgoing personality, always smiling, not bashful, never exactly at a loss for words.

He was the same way at LSU, and the district attorney never raised an eyebrow. Apparently, it may break the football mold, but it breaks no law to be outgoing with an effervescent grin and a twinkle in one’s eyes.

So if off-the-field issues were the only concern, then it’s game over. The Redskins won the draft.

He’ll be fine on the field when the season starts and he begins running with the angry, wild-bull style that endeared to LSU fans.

Off the field, he’s already running up the score.

It would be easy to use that draft snub as a chip on the shoulder and turn that anger against the rest of the NFL.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

But that’s just not Guice. Fun-loving guys don’t look good wearing steely-eyed bitterness.

Every day that Guice helps a little old lady across the street or makes the day of a small tyke is one more slap in the face at the teams that passed on him.

“He’s just a young 20-year old that’s just enjoying the game and enjoying life,” incumbent running back Chris Thompson told Redskins.com. “You can’t knock a guy for being so happy after he went through all the stuff that he’s been through. He’s just happy and super hyper all the time … It’s been good having him here and I’m glad we got him here. He’s a great kid.”

If he’s not inviting Redskins’ fans to all meet him at the movies — and paying for their tickets — then he’s inviting the other half to go bowling with him or helping pay this year’s tuition for a former LSU trainer because her TOPS money ran out for a fifth year at the Ol’ War Skul.

Doesn’t sound like much of a threat to decent society.

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com

Derrius Guice

Clowning for the camera

Nick Wass