This time it isn’t LSU’s dr-A&M-a

Published 6:20 pm Saturday, November 25, 2017

LSU and Texas A&M will make an attempt at football again Saturday night. Maybe they’ll get around to it, but as usual there are some complications.

But for a change this time it’s the Tigers who get to sit back and watch somebody else’s circus.

We’re going to operate under the assumption that Ed Orgeron’s job is safe. Good crisis management following the Troy disaster.

Besides, Texas A&M is hogging the stage. This is the Aggies’ show.

So show some respect. Settle in. Lean back in a comfy chair. Get some popcorn. Pop the cold one of your choice.

True, the Aggies have a hard LSU double feature to top. The last two years the Tigers brought the house down whether they were trying fire a coach (2015) or hire one (2016).

So who knows what might happen Saturday?

The Houston Chronicle has already reported that A&M has supposedly made the decision to fire head coach Kevin Sumlin after the LSU game — win, lose or draw.

That’s a good start. LSU knows that tune.

The idea that Texas A&M is trying to land Florida State’s Jimbo Fisher might be milking a good LSU copycat gag too far. But, hey, go with it, Aggies.

I’m sure it was diligent reporting. But as we media in Louisiana are well aware, just because something is a true fact when reported midweek of the LSU-Texas A&M game, it does not mean that it will still be true when it comes time to do the deed. There’s lots of unexpected forks and twists in that road.

Of course, two years ago we were dealing with Les Miles, and that always has a knack for turning things into a three-ring, swirling vortex of clusterfusion.

But, even by the Mad Hatter’s zany standards, at the end of a nutty, rumor-filled two or three weeks, the finale in Tiger Stadium -— the “shocking conclusion” as they say in the biz — was one of the most bizarre nights I’ve ever seen in the old joint.

Last year another scrambling drama was pretty well confined to during the game, but it wasn’t too bad as sequels go. 

Was A&M taking notes?

Did they learn anything?

Or, who knows? Maybe the Aggies are about to pull a classic, “Hold my beer.”

Anyway, A&M, here’s what you’re trying to top. Pay attention.

Two years ago this week Uncle Les pulled the greatest escape act since he outconfused Tennessee into a 13-man defense (it may have been 14 or 15; people lost count) that gifted the Tigers a game they had no business winning.

The details are still a blur.

Admittedly, dear Aggies, you’ve got a tough one to beat here.

But first you’ve got to get it out there that your man — in this case Sumlin — is a gone pecan, which seems to have already happened.

LSU was way ahead of you by a week or so. So in its version, you had Miles as a good and popular man even for those who had grown weary of his offense. It left plenty of time for sympathy vote to kick in. By the night it came time for his “last” game, there had already been a farewell tour of sorts, capped by what was supposed to be his final call-in radio show in which most of the callers seemed to be crying.

Miles handled it all with his typical class, so when he got on the field for the game the whole stadium was chanting his name as he was trying to honor his seniors.

“I remember walking down the Tiger Walk (to the stadium) with Coach Miles,” Orgeron recalled. “I saw the way he handled himself all week, like a champion, never mentioned the job or anything. All the focus was to win the game.”

There was a game, so to speak, though it seemed to be a mere sideshow to the behind-the-scenes chicanery.

LSU didn’t play particularly great, but it was good enough to beat the Aggies, and Miles’ players carted him off for a victory lap with a touching stop in front of the band to off-key sing that alma mater once last time.

Of course, it wasn’t the last anything.

Moments later, the media gathered under the stadium to hear Athletic Director Joe Alleva … say what?

Alleva announced, whatcha know, it was all a big misunderstanding. Of course Coach Miles was staying.

“We didn’t know what was going to happen,” Orgeron remembers. “He won the game and saved his job.”

Alleva and his fellow henchmen had obviously gotten cold feet during the game and it was not a particularly sincere-sounding athletic director who tried to say he hoped Miles “would be LSU’s coach for a long, long time.”

He wasn’t, of course. The reprieve didn’t take, nor did his offense change, and Miles was fired four games into last season.

Which brings you to entertainment Option No. 2. 

Last year LSU had yet another Texas A&M game and was in the market again with Miles banished — except with an interim head coach in Orgeron who desperately wanted the job full-time but had supposedly blown it with a loss to Florida the week before.

“There was a lot of stuff out there,” Orgeron said. “I used a little bit of what I learned from Coach Miles (the year before), how to stay focused and take care of the task at hand.”

There were rumors in the press box that LSU was beating the hullabaloo out of Texas A&M on the field. But the game was just background noise as the coaching search picked those three hours to bomb Twitter into submission with one Jimbo rumor topping more Tom Herman speculation until LSU “negotiated” both of them into rich contracts with their present (Fisher at Florida State) and future (Herman to Texas) employers.

Two days later LSU made Orgeron its permanent head coach and, with a straight face, tried to act like he was the No. 1 choice all along.

So LSU set the bar high on Thanksgiving hijinks. But, good luck, Aggies. We’re all counting on you.