Bama can take the air out of hype
Published 4:57 pm Sunday, October 29, 2017
<p class="p1">So LSU has turned its season around with three consecutive very, very impressive victories, and now, with an open date this weekend to mull it over, faces the usual dilemma for this time of the year.</p><p class="p1">Uh, Alabama.</p><p class="p1">Or maybe it’s all Nick Saban.</p><p class="p1">One of them. Probably some combination thereof.</p><p class="p1">It doesn’t take much to get LSU fans’ optimism flowing, and the Tigers have looked like a different team — or at least a real team, with heart and desire and honest chemistry — over the month of October.</p><p class="p1">So I’m sure you have a lot of questions as the week’s hype machine amps up for yet another prime-time, nationally televised extravaganza on what promises to be the most overanalyzed LSU game of the season.</p><p class="p1">We’ll get to as many of your questions as possible.</p><p class="p1">Yes, you there, with the glazed eyes, you’re on …</p><p class="p1"><strong>Question:</strong> All that said, what are the Tigers’ chances of …</p><p class="p2"><strong>Answer:</strong> No.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> You didn’t even hear my question.</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Don’t even think about it.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But LSU has some momentum now and …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Don’t even go there.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> The Tigers have turned the corner and …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Pipe dream.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> You hush. Let me finish. Can. They. Beat. Alabama?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Not a chance.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But what if …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Next question.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> LSU has won three straight games now and …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Not against Nick Saban.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> … and this isn’t the same LSU team that lost to Troy?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> This is Ala-by-dang-bama! Are you not hearing me?</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> This is quite a turnaround Ed Orgeron has pulled off and …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> This is Alabama. Different challenge.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But LSU almost beat Alabama last year and …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Almost who?</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> No score after three quarters. Still only lost 10-0. Scared them, at least.</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> But they could have played for a month and the Tigers weren’t scoring on that defense.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> So when was the last time LSU beat Alabama … if ever?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Yes, it actually did happen. Tigers won 9-6 in overtime in the famous “Game of the Century” in Tuscaloosa. Pretty sure it was this century, too. But I’ll have to double-check.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> I remember that, it was …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Yes, here it is. It was 2011. Only seems like several generations ago. I was thinking the Truman administration.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> So it is possible?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Only if, like that game, touchdowns aren’t required.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> So why does Alabama claim LSU and its fans are obsessed with the Tide?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Because they are.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But isn’t the whole SEC? </p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Yes. Ever notice every SEC team seems to have an open date before playing the Tide?</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But Alabama always takes its week off before playing LSU. </p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> There is that. Probably the ultimate show of respect. It also pretty well eliminates the whole prospect of “taking LSU lightly.” </p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But it’s not like LSU has been run off the field in recent years.</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> This year Alabama’s average — average — margin of victory has been 33 points. LSU isn’t averaging 33 points. It’s a Bama team that apparently understands Saban’s “process” and has taken a Scorched Earth approach to a lackluster schedule.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> Derrius Guice is a stud again, finally healthy now. You saw him run against Ole Miss?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> So was Leonard Fournette last year. He’d just hung 284 yards on Ole Miss –— Guice “only” got 276 last week. Fournette got 35 yards against the Tide … which was 4 more yards than he managed the year before just when everyone was already conceding him the Heisman Trophy (after that game, he didn’t even get invited to New York). </p><p class="p1">Even if I humor you with the outside chance that LSU has a prayer, Nick Saban is not — repeat, NOT — going to let Derrius Guice beat him.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> How so?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Saban is quirky like that. First thing he does when game-planning is to identify the one thing an opponent might do that could possibly annoy his Tide. On the odd chance that he finds something — voilà — it somehow disappears from the arsenal.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But LSU has other ways to …</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> I’m pretty sure those jet sweeps of the Tigers haven’t escaped his notice either.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> Then throw the ball?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Good luck with that. LSU couldn’t protect Danny Etling on straight dropbacks against Ole Miss. </p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> But LSU worked around it. </p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> True. This LSU team has come together. Kudos for that. But it’s still a team with a lot of flaws. That doesn’t play against a team that is steam rolling everything.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> OK, what if the unthinkable should happen?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Dreamland.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> You mean the ribs?</p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> OK, Dreamland BBQ does have the best ribs in the SEC, right there in Tuscaloosa on the best-named back alley, Tank Farm Road. But, no, we’re talking dream on with that notion.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> Really, just once, deal with the hypothetical. LSU beats Alabama and …. </p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Then Troy can claim to be the college football champion of the state of Alabama.</p><p class="p1"><strong>Q:</strong> That would be pretty cool and … </p><p class="p1"><strong>A:</strong> Forget about it.</p>