Pro Day not ready for prime time

Published 6:06 am Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Maybe it’s because LSU hasn’t had as much success as many of its SEC brethren in duping fans into thinking a spring football game is must-see, excitement worthy.

But the Tigers almost make up for it in getting hyped up about Pro Day.

It’s today, I think, this morning, actually, there at the football practice facility. But don’t go into a panic.

You’re not missing anything. There are not even any TAF points involved.

It does require a media credential — of which LSU claims 100 have been issued (none to me, thankfully) — but it is not even open to the general fandom.

Sadly, they didn’t print any tickets … on the odd chance anybody could have been duped.

Not to worry, though, there’s not much the SEC Network won’t cover, and this is yet another event that it will attempt live television on, beginning at 10 a.m.

Mainly, it is strictly a clinical exam staged for the benefit of roughly 100 NFL personnel, including at least eight general managers and four head coaches.

Keep in mind this thing is most likely an acquired taste, at best, but the festivities “kick off’ (not really a kick off, per se) at 8:30 a.m. with the always enthralling “measurements.”

According to the advance literature I’ve received, this will entail actual measurements of LSU players’ weight, their height, arms and even their hands.

If the action should wane, perhaps the SEC Network should consider live look-ins at LSU coaches drinking coffee to spice things up.

I’m pretty sure that in three or four years on campus, LSU has already weighed most of them, but these NFL guys are a suspicious lot about such matters. And with good reason, I might add.

From there it’s on to the weight room, where you’ll gape in wonder at finely tuned athletes jumping straight up in the air, then straight out toward wherever, before lifting as much weight as they’re comfortable with.

Highly paid people on expense account take notes on this stuff.

This is just in case any NFL teams might be looking to enter a player in the next Olympic decathlon.

What it has to do with third-and-8 I haven’t a clue.

But that’s just the prelims.

It’s at this point — 10 a.m., if the schedule holds — that the SEC Network will join the fun.

Good thing, too. Not a moment too soon.

Soon, finely tuned young athletes will be demonstrating that they can, in fact, run.

The 40-yard dash gets all the sexy headlines, but for sheer excitement — thrill of victory, agony of the feet, that sort of thing — it’s hard to top that Three Cone Drill.

It involves, oddly enough, three traffic cones, apparently spaced at precise intervals, from which prospects can prove they’ll be quick and agile and certainly come in handy clearing the field after Super Bowl halftime shows.

But NFL scouts might get into fist fights arguing over whether the truer test of football is the 60-yard shuttle or the less appreciated 20-yard shuttle.

That unsettled debate rages, and often makes for spirited, late-night shouting matches at the cocktail hour of scouting conventions.

From there, the last chance to impress is something called “individual workouts with NFL coaches,” which is purposely vague.

It might accidentally involve a football (pigskin), or it might not.

It’s probably open to interpretation depending upon the NFL organization involved.

There is probably some passing and catching involved.

But I’ve always suspected this might be when the scouts get to have their harmless fun, when legends are built for later storytelling.

You know, something like, “So then I tells this kid, OK, this is important, I need to you to stand on your head, rub your tummy with one hand, twirl your other hand way out to the side, and then act like you’re riding a bicycle upside down … and danged if he didn’t do it.”

But it’s all part of the game, and the hoopla is just LSU’s not-so-subtle way of reminding potential recruits that former Tigers tend to stumble into the NFL by the double-decker bus load.

LSU even had Nike whip up some special workout attire just for today’s show.

Today will be Ed Orgeron’s first time to preside over the ceremonies, although “preside” isn’t really the right word. He will be these guys’ former head coach, and as such he’ll be standing off to the side doing little more than nodding approvingly.

Or, at least, that’s the way Les Miles always did. Uncle Les had the act down pat.

It’s important to be seen, to smile and pretend like you’re thrilled to see half your junior class leaving early to be millionaires so potential recruits can start counting down the days until their pro day comes.

Hence, the hype.

l

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.com