Clemson really an SEC team

Published 5:38 am Wednesday, January 11, 2017

INVITATION TO: Clemson University (especially Deshaun and Dabo).

FROM: The ever-proud Southeastern Conference (minus one prominent member).

RE: Come on over here and join us.

ENTRY REQUIREMENT: How you did that again?

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Actually, Clemson, we always thought that, at heart, you were always more SEC than ACC anyway. The place and the program always just had that feel to it, if for no other reason than the most prominent landmark in town is a “fillin’ station.”

That’s pure-dee SEC right there.

More so, probably, than South Carolina, which somehow got through rush some years ago, probably on a legacy technicality.

But, just know that from afar, you have rescued us, given us hope, a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Clemson 35, Alabama 31. National championship.

Never mind that it was a classic football game.

The next day a winter storm had turned balmy.

There is peace in the valley, hope for the downtrodden.

It CAN be done. Perhaps the bonds and shackles have been lifted.

We always wondered what Nick Saban would be like on the podium explaining a championship loss, and it turns out he’s a gracious enough loser — who knew? — and really not that much different than when he’s winning and sternly cautioning the world against the dangers of complacency.

Dabo is the man.

A few of our quirkier coaches have occasionally toyed with the notion that football should be fun, but it’s frowned upon. Generally they are quickly chided for it by fans who point out that it’s probably not part of Saban’s Process, which has become the holy grail of the SEC.

You … you did it with a grown-up Opie grinning on the sideline, and Dabo Swinney is probably still hanging from a chandelier somewhere celebrating.

So there’s that.

But details, give us the details.

Presumably it helps to have the best player on the field, at quarterback. For instance, for years LSU has been beating its ahead against Bama without a real quarterback.

Deshaun Watson was a stud, and for the second year in a row a lot of learned people are second-guessing Heisman Trophy votes. If that’s part of the blueprint, some of the SEC is going to need a Plan B.

There was chatter that perhaps that Saban’s gamble had blown up in his face, the idea of ditching Lane Kiffin as offensive coordinator for Steve Sarkisian the week before the natty champ.

But Alabama scored 31 points against a much better defense than Little Lord Lane got 24 points against in the semifinals. That’s supposed to be enough when the greatest defense history has ever known is wearing crimson.

But 35 points? And 420 yards passing? How does that happen?

We will never understand what the theory with your gimmicky kicking game was Monday, but who are we to judge? You’ve got the skin on the wall.

For that matter, in the final minute or so it appeared to several of us that you’d been to the famed Les Miles School of Clock Management. But then you brought the winner home with a tidy 1 second remaining. Well played, sir.

But the main thing we need some clarification on is that winning play.

Well designed, by the way.

But we’re just not sure we could get it past the SEC censors.

The NFL is preoccupied with its groundbreaking research into what constitutes a legal catch of a football, complete with extensive essays on “football moves” and “through the process.”

We all suspect college football will spend the next eight months agonizing about and probably overanalyzing the difference between an illegal “pick play” and the harmless “rub” play.

Evidently, Clemson, you ran one or the other for the winning touchdown. Just as evidently, there’s not a mosquito’s eyelash bit of difference between the two.

Just because it walks like a pick and talks like a pick, evidently doesn’t mean it always quacks like a pick.

But that’s not important now.

The key concept we’re having trouble latching onto, that has us all looking dumbfounded at one another, is that there was, at best, an either-or call to decide the game, and that you had it go your way — against Ala-by-dang-bama.

So how does that work? Discuss.

The SEC is not familiar with that. Whose palm has to get greased?

The suspicion was always that all the game officials lived in Birmingham, but the explanation was always that, no, all the best players live in Tuscaloosa.

Every school has unexplainable, horror stories to tell.

Bama fans would pat you on the head, tousle your hair, tell you to hush up and then explain smugly that it’s all “part of the game.”

But, Big 12 officials or not, it appears you really can get a break against the Tide in a key moment.

Who knew?

We’re not judging, mind you. We’re not even making excuses for Alabama.

In fact, the notion that Bama may have been wronged is the one part of the whole deal that has us absolutely doubled over and horse-laughing until tears trickle down our faces.

Part of the game.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.com