Fans lack healthy hate of LSU

Published 7:13 am Thursday, May 19, 2016

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’m afraid there’s more disturbing proof of just how long it’s been since LSU football was a real factor in the national championship hunt.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Some outfit called Reddit.com came out with a poll of the nation’s most hated college football teams, one of those click-magnet little ditties to tide you over until some real football gets here.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LSU is not in the top 10. Nowhere. Not a trace.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Tigers fans must be slipping, too. Usually “Tiger Bait” alone is enough to annoy the general populace into teeth gnashing.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Are they suddenly acting like the local Welcome Wagon for incoming visitors?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">You don’t want to be loved in college football. You want to walk through the parking lot and have opponents cussing up a blue streak.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">College football doesn’t have a Miss Congeniality award.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Understand, the poll does not claim to be based on any known science.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Maybe there were flaws in the process.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But, for the most part, it’s schools you’d like to be keeping company with, at least in the polls.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Ohio State is No. 1, which makes sense. Who’s more annoying than Urban Meyer at the top?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Nick Saban, you say?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I don’t agree. But Alabama, predictably is just behind Ohio State, tied with Michigan for the No. 2 spot.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Michigan hasn’t done much lately, but Jim Harbaugh is sure threatening to, and his annoyance factor apparently makes up for a lot .</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Then there’s Texas at No. 4, which probably gets that high solely on the Longhorn Network — and if that didn’t do it, there’s the whole uppity attitude in play where the Big 12 can’t hiccup without asking UT permission. No matter how many times TCU beats the Longhorns.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Florida, yeah, No. 5 is about what I’d figure. Visiting fans hate The Swamp, and it’s a school that introduced both the annoyance of Urban Meyer and the arrogance side of Steve Spurrier.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The top five, though, was pretty predictable.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But Auburn at No. 6?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Cam Newton has been gone for several years now … and wouldn’t all those fans who hate Alabama have to secretly wish the best War Eagle for Auburn?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">And there’s Texas A&amp;M at No. 7.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Everybody likes a good Aggie joke, and it was the Aggies who stood up and gave the Longhorns a big raspberry when they took their ball and walked out of the Big 12.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Florida State kind of makes sense at No. 8.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But I’m totally dumbfounded by South Carolina at No. 9.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The Gamecocks never did anything to anybody. It’s the most polite, benign fan base in the SEC, save Vanderbilt.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s a fan base always happy to go 6-6 because the gosh darn boys are playing so dad-blame hard.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">South Carolina even managed to make Spurrier look warm and cuddly, even when he somewhat turned the fortunes around and sometimes beat you.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">What’s to hate about that place?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Baylor at No. 10? OK, maybe the Bears whine too much when their no-account schedule gets thrown in their face when they complain about being left out of this or that playoff.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Still, Baylor?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But how can Baylor and South Carolina stir up the ire of more people than LSU fans?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Again, the poll makes no scientific claims. But it gets pretty detailed.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">For instance, there’s a state-by-state listing of the most hated team in each.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Louisiana hates Alabama the most, which isn’t a big shock.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Tennessee also chimes in against the Tide.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The other three anti-crimson states are interesting.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Nevada? Maybe the Tide got crossways with the bookies.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">South Dakota is also a curiosity.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But how do you explain Alaska?</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Ohio State predictably takes out a wide swath of the Midwest.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But I have no idea what Baylor did to New Mexico.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">LSU does make an appearance on this map.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">I’m not sure what LSU did tick off Arkansas, other than make fun of “The Boot.”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There was that whole ’possum fiasco in the baseball game a couple of weeks ago.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But as for football, LSU has basically rolled over the last two times they’ve played, and the Tigers weren’t playing ’possum — they were absolutely, undeniably, reliably dead.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But I guess it’s nice to know some people are thinking ill about you.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Still, maybe we’re finding the flaws in this thing.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">To make any real headway, it appears, you need to have a blood rival, preferably in the same state.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Auburn, for instance, was the most hated team in Alabama, and I wonder which fans got out the vote for that one.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Clemson is rolling these days, and apparently stuffed the box against cross-state South Carolina.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Ole Miss is the most hated team in Mississippi, and the Rebels aren’t even the ones with the cowbells.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There does seem to be a pattern there. And LSU can’t do much about it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But if the Tigers want to get on fans’ nerves again, the surest way would be to get back in the national championship picture.</span>

<span class="R~sep~AZaphdingbatdot7pt">l</span>

<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">Scooter Hobbs</span> <span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">covers LSU</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">athletics. Email him at</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">shobbs@americanpress.com</span>