Big 12 can’t buy friends to play ball

Published 6:43 am Friday, May 13, 2016

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">In today’s social media-driven world, unfortunately, this qualifies as real news.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Not as spicy as a good Twitter hijacking, a la Ole Miss’ Laremy Tunsil and the NFL draft night, but at least worthy of stirring things up a slow day.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It seems a Mr. Garth Brooks, a country music crooner of some renown, has offered his services to help save the Big 12 from drying up into insignificance.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Brooks apparently was between gigs when he stuck his nose into the dilemma of finding somebody that the Big 12 wants to add to its fraternity, if nothing else to let the conference live up to its name (12) since it is down to a mere 10.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Anyway, Brooks suggested the league make a run at Arkansas, with the idea the Razorbacks might defect from the SEC and join their congregation.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">It’s important to note that Brooks, although he is an Oklahoma State alum and an avid fan of his Cowboys, was apparently not representing, nor speaking for, the Big 12 in any official capacity.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He was kind of just talking, you know, shooting the bull between concerts.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">He’s famous enough that it becomes important enough that somebody has to check it out, or at least acknowledge it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Nobody really took it seriously.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Still, I’m sure the powers that be in the league would snap to attention if Brooks’ offhand remarks appeared to be getting a Hog nibble.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Arkansas, you’ll recall, many years go left the old Southwest Conference, which later kind of morphed into the present day Big 12. The Hogs high-tailed it to the SEC because they didn’t feel appreciated and mostly because they got sick of butting heads on policy matters with the snooty Texas Longhorns.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">If the Big 12 thought for second that it might could rekindle and old romance with Arkansas, it would scramble the corporate jets they would be would zeroing in on the Ozarks right now.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">They’d maybe even round up a fruit basket or something to send to Fayetteville.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Arkansas Athletic Director Jeff Long, probably as adept as any college administrator with social media, pretty well shot it down in well under 140 Twitter characters.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“Hey Garthbrooks hear you want ArkRazorbacks in Big 12,” he tweeted back.”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The back and forth later made it clear that Arkansas did not have even lukewarm interest, to the point Long seemed to be mocking the suggestion.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“I’ve got a good thing going in the SEC.”</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">And the final zinger:</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">“Those are ‘Unanswered Prayers,’ a term Mr. Brooks and his bank account are apparently well familiar with.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">So it was all, predictably enough, a false alarm, just social media having some harmless fun again.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Move along, folks, nothing to see here.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Anyway, it was about at this point that a FedEx truck pulled up outside the Big 12 headquarters.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Apparently it wasn’t just a folder it was delivering, it was serious.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">The company had an interesting proposal. FedEx founder and chairman Frederick W. Smith himself was pledging that company would just love to sponsor and bankroll the Big 12’s football championship game.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Never mind that the Big 12 doesn’t have a football championship game. When a heavy hitter wants to pay cash money for one, it could probably scare one up in a heartbeat.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There was one catch: FedEx will only jump on board if the Big 12 invites the University of Memphis to come play in its little reindeer games.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">There have been a lot of names tossed about in speculation of getting the Big 12 up to 12 teams again.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Memphis was never prominently mentioned among them.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Memphis, though admittedly it has made some football strides in recent years, would be like the nerdy kid in your neighborhood that you really don’t want to invite to your birthday party.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">But, alas, the little snot has rich and overbearing parents, and they’re always eager to push their socially awkward offspring off on society kids and get him accepted by the “popular” crowd.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">So you know you’re going to get a really nice birthday present if you can just grin and bear it.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">Memphis, meanwhile, also promised that it committing to make a $500 million investment in its academic and athletic infrastructure over the next five years.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">In other words, it was sort of promising to quit being a commuter school and act the part of a big-timer.</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyBody">So, best anybody can tell, we’re about to see if you can buy your way into a Power Five conference.</span>

<span class="R~sep~AZaphdingbatdot7pt">l</span>

<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">Scooter Hobbs</span> <span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">covers LSU</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">athletics. Email him at</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">shobbs@americanpress.com</span>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote"> </span>

<p class="p1">Follow Scooter Hobbs on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/ScooterAmPress">twitter.com/ScooterAmPress</a>

<span class="R~sep~ACopyEditors~sep~endnote">

</span>