Students, former teachers should not date
Published 11:07 am Monday, June 30, 2014
Dr. Wallace: I’m a 17-year-old senior in high school and I’d like to comment on advice you gave a girl who decided after graduating that she wanted to ask her former teacher to go out with her. You told her it was not a good idea, but I don’t agree with your advice at all.
I used to have a terrific crush on my English teacher in seventh grade, but my mom said to forget about it because I was too young, and that I would forget about him when I got to high school and other boys asked me out.
We still live near the junior high school, and although I’m in high school now I still drop by sometimes to see this teacher who is still my friend and we have great discussions about literature and movies.
I’ve dated several high school boys, but I find I still have a crush on my teacher and I am beginning to think I’m really in love with him.
After I graduate, I think I would like to go out with him. I know he is not married and he is a wonderful human being and someone I can really relate to. He has always been a gentleman with me.
Not long ago, I saw a show on television that featured students who had actually married their teachers after they graduated from high school. The teachers were usually males and the students were females and the couples are now happily married. Most of the couples had only a five or six-year age difference.
Do you think there is any hope for me to realize my dream of dating him and possibly marrying him? — Nameless, Miami, Fla.
Nameless: Sometimes television producers use controversial programs as a way to get viewers to tune in and inflate their ratings.
The fact that this kind of program is exploiting an issue that is not the norm, (teachers marrying students) would definitely draw viewers, and the fact that most of the former students were female would especially appeal to girls and women.
All teachers have a moral obligation not to get involved romantically with their students while they are in school and are subject to termination if they do.
However, when the student has left school, the school district can take no action, but the teaching profession still frowns upon this type of relationship.
You should also take note that some students mistakenly take their teacher’s concern for them as a signal that romance may be possible. This could be the case with your former teacher.
Dr. Wallace: I’m 17 and my best friend and I have been pals ever since 7th grade when she moved in next door. Even though I’m a guy and she’s a girl, we have a lot in common and walked to school together nearly every day until we started high school and dating other kids in our class. We didn’t hang out so much together, but we still had a close friendship, and whenever either of us had “dating problems,” we always talked it over with each other.
A couple of weeks ago, her boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn’t get sexually involved with him. I praised her for doing the right thing and told her I respected her for it.
Now, I find myself really thinking about her a lot and I would really like to take her out, but I’m don’t want to ruin our friendship.
Do you think I should risk it, or is it possible to be best friends and date each other? — Nameless, Salt Lake City, Utah.
Nameless: Go for it! Many times really good friends have fewer “romantic” problems.” Dating this girl will enhance the friendship you already share, but it will not ruin it.
l
Dr. Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net.
SCrt 2014, Creators Syndicate Inc.